


Choice || Oikawa Tooru x Reader | Kuroo Testurou x Reader

by Nanami (ficsdump)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Childhood Friends, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, No Smut, Romance, Unrequited Love, Volleyball, haikyuu!! - Freeform, x Reader
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:40:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28382619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficsdump/pseuds/Nanami
Summary: As Oikawa's childhood friend, you've been together since kindergarten. Being together was natural, it was never a choice -- until he realizes that he won't have you by his side forever if he doesn't make a move.Plot inspiration from @ushijimas_doormat tiktok!
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader, Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 52





	1. Chapter 1

"Why do I even have to come with you in your morning practices?" You groaned, still half asleep as you walk to the train station with your childhood best friend, Oikawa Tooru.

"We'll have a practice match later and the team needs your presence to hype them up." He offers a sandwich and you begrudgingly took a big bite but did not take it from him. "Damn, aggressive." He chuckles, eating the rest of the sandwich. 

It was the usual morning route and girls from your school would 'accidentally' bump into you and Oikawa would always just smile and humor them. You quietly take a detour and grab a quick breakfast from the convenience store since it was too early to be dealing with squealing and giggling airheads. As you decide whether to take an egg sandwich or a club sandwich, the entrance bell rings and you can hear your best friend calling out your name.

"Keep it down." You answered, unbothered as you decided on the egg sandwich.

"Why'd you escape alone? Why didn't you take me with you?" He whines as he shakes your shoulders but you just chuckle as you head to the cashier to pay for it while he clings to you like a child. You ate your sandwich on the way to the station while he talks about how he's having a problem dealing with this second year he named _Mad Dog_. 

"You're the great king remember?" You smiled as you remember the two freshman from Karasuno who gave him such a nickname. 

"The only one he listens to is Iwa-chan!" He complained, making me laugh.

"That's Iwa-chan for you." I say, patting his back as I finish my sandwich before the train arrives. "By the way who are you playing with later for the practice match?" You ask as you board the train. Most seats were taken so both of you were standing up but Oikawa kept looking around until he suddenly led you to an open seat. He made you sit down while he stands in front of you.

"Hey, you didn't answer. Who's your opponent for today's practice match?" You asked again. 

"Nekoma." Your face brightens up as he scowls. 

"KUROO!" You scream excitedly as you reminisce.

*****

_It's always been just you and Oikawa since kindergarten, with your parents being the best of friends. You've played together and went to kindergarten together and basically did every single thing together. In the middle of your elementary years, you've gotten interested in playing volleyball and had Oikawa join you in the neighborhood's children's volleyball team. It was also where you met Iwaizumi Hajime for the first time. Once a package of 2, now you were 3 and you enjoyed the new company._

_In the second year of middle school as you stand in front of the class list posting, you pouted seeing Iwaizumi in another class but secretly relieved when you see you were still in the same class as Oikawa._

_"It's fine, I'll see you guys at lunch." Iwaizumi ruffles your hair in an attempt to cheer you up._

_"Besides, you'll be with me!" Oikawa winks and you fake puked, giving yourselves a good laugh before the three of you walked to your classrooms._

_Lunch came and as you find your place in the cafeteria, Oikawa rushed back to the classroom because he forgot his packed lunch. Your stomach grumbled, asking for food since you skipped your breakfast that morning. You obliged and ate ahead when Iwaizumi approached you with another guy beside him._

_"Where's Oikawa?" He asks wondering why you were alone._

_"The idiot forgot his bento in the classroom. Too hungry to wait" You shrugged but as you noticed the guy beside Iwaizumi looking at you, you stared back as if to challenge him. Why was he staring in the first place anyway?_

_"Ah, sorry. This is Kuroo Tetsurou, a classmate of mine. He came from Tokyo and also plays volleyball." Iwaizumi introduces and you smiled at the mention of your favorite sport._

_"Hi. I'm Y/N. What position do you play?" You ask motioning for them to sit down, but before you could say that Oikawa was sitting beside you, Kuroo has taken the seat while Iwaizumi took the one in front of him, hiding a small smirk._

_"Middle blocker. You?" He asks._

_"Libero. So you're from--"_

_"Who are you and why are you sitting on my seat?" Oikawa asks in between his breath._

_"The seat was empty so I thought it was free," Kuroo explains but was not standing up._

_"Oikawa, this is Kuroo. Kuroo, Oikawa." Iwaizumi introduces them as he drags Oikawa to the chair in front. "It is that bad to sit beside me?" He sulked and Oikawa panics for a second, trying to deny it. You laughed at the scene unfolding in front of you when you saw for_ _a split second how Iwaizumi subtly winked at Kuroo. You didn't understand what that was for so you let it go and soon enough, your group of 3 became a group of 4 who all feel the same about volleyball._

_***_

_The high pitched squeaks of the shoes on the court and the loud sound when the ball hits the spiker's hand makes you feel nothing but excitement. Your adrenaline was able to pull you through another exhausting day, winning 4 of the 5 practice sets you've played in today. Being a third year, you were now being asked which high school you'd want to go to by your coach, and you just smiled and answered Aoba Johsai. Although being a powerhouse, the real reason why you wanted to join was so silly that the boys laughed at you when they heard about it, but you didn't care. You really just liked their white and turquoise uniform! As your team finishes up with the cleaning, you've excused yourself and headed straight to the second gym where your best friends are waiting for you._

_"I'm here!" You exclaimed to an almost empty gym with only a few individuals left for self-practice._

_"Look who finally decided to show up." Oikawa smiles before giving a perfect set to Iwaizumi. It never fails to amaze you at how swift and perfect Oikawa's sets are, especially with Iwaizumi but out of nowhere, a tall wall blocked the ball and shutting it down from it's path._

_"How can you be shut down by single blocker?" Kuroo teases._

_"I was just distacted"  
"Excuses, excuses"  
"Shut up, rooster"  
"Whatever, bokekawa"  
_

_You chuckle at their usual bickering before your usual 2 on 2 matches. It's a great practice for you as you get used to defending such a large part of the court along with the powerful attacks from Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Although, the power of the boy's volleyball team is distinctly different from the girls' play, you've soon gotten used to it and can even stand in when the boys's team would lack a player during practice._

_***_

_After changing, you locked the door to your club room was ambushed by Kuroo and Oikawa who bombarded you with the question_ _"Which flavor is better, chocolate or vanilla?". Iwaizumi shrugged, not interested in sweets, and you laughed because you liked strawberry over those two flavors they've mentioned._

_As you head home with all of them, Oikawa and Iwaizumi was oblivious to Kuroo holding your wrist and stopping you from your tracks._

_"Hey, Y/N, are you free this weekend?" He asks, hands in his pockets as he gives you the purest of smile._

_"No plans of the moment, what's up?" You ask, tilting your head as you look up to his 5'6 figure. He's too tall for a 3rd year middle school student, but then again, Oikawa and Iwaizumi wasn't far behind either. Guess you were surrounded by giants every day with your height being a mere 4'11._

_"Just needed to buy some clothes. Thought I could use your opinion." He says and you noticed his ears turning red._

_"Sure." You smile up to him, taking a silent note to buy him a comb and some earmuffs. He must be cold with his ears turning red like that and besides it's the time to buy some Christmas gifts for everyone._

_"Great. On Saturday then, 10AM?" He says with a big smile when you felt a weight on your back and a familiar arm dangling over your shoulder.  
_

_"Where are WE going on Saturday at 10AM?" Oikawa asks as he rests his chin on the other side of your shoulder. They probably went back as soon as they realized you weren't behind them._

_"You're damn heavy" You grunted and you felt the weight being lifted only to see Iwaizumi lifting Oikawa away from you._

_"Just to shop for some clothes and hang out before I leave for Tokyo on Sunday." Kuroo says with a resigned sigh, catching all of you off-guard. Your surprised faces made Kuroo softly smile, eyes already showing loneliness for his departure._ _"My father's work in Miyagi was completed and so we're moving back. These past five semesters were fun, thanks to you guys."_

_"That's not fair. It's too sudden." You muttered softly when Kuroo ruffled your hair and gave you a smile._

_"That's alright. I'll still drop by and visit," He pinches your nose with his freezing hands before shifting his gaze on the two guys behind you "or we can face each other in the court someday."  
_

_"You better make it to your prefecture preliminaries then," Oikawa says with a smile and a hint of loneliness. He got attached too, despite their constant bickering.  
_

_"Yeah. You should too." A small smirk made its way to Kuroo's lips as he clasped his hands with Oikawa and Iwaizumi before giving you a one armed hug as he locks you in and messes with your hair._

_*****_

"Its our stop." Oikawa says before turning his back on you. You noticed the shift of mood even in the slightest change of tone. After all, you've known him for most of your life.

"What's wrong with you?" You caught up to him but he refused to look at you.

"Nothing." He continues to walk in silence when you both bump into Iwaizumi by the gate of your school.

"Morning." Iwaizumi nods,

"Iwa chan, morning!" Oikawa hugs Iwaizumi from behind which had him looking at you.

"So, you guys fought?" He asks and when Oikawa didn't respond, he shifted his gaze to you.

"I have no idea." You responded, shaking your head as you walked ahead, not having Oikawa's mood swings with just a sandwich as your breakfast. 

As you entered the gym, the team has already warmed up and greeted you in unison. You've always been visiting and the team has always welcomed you warmly. At first they just saw you as just the girl who's always with Oikawa and Iwaizumi but after playing in on one of their practice match, it felt as though you've gained their respect and have been acknowledged. They suddenly shout their greetings once again and you know they were greeting their captain and vice captain behind you. You greeted the coach and sat beside him as the boys continued on with their practice. They finished their service drills, with Oikawa's jump serves being as close to perfect as they can be before they went into position and split the team for a practice match.

"The blonde guy must be Mad Dog?" You asked yourself when coach Mizoguchi answered beside you.

"Yes, that's Kentaro Kyotani. It's been quite hard to have him play for the team but Oikawa knows how to use his abilities for offense--" Your reflexes had you springing up from your seat to block the ball from hitting his face. You looked back at the court to see the blonde guy frustrated and Oikawa scolding. "-- most of the time." Coach Mizoguchi corrected himself as he breathes out a sigh of relief from the disaster you have helped avoided.

"I expected nothing less from Seijo's former libero of the girl's team." Head coach Irihata smiles up at you and you bowed before sitting down again. "It's a pity how that accident robbed you of your potential." 

"It's nothing, really. Accidents happen and I don't regret saving that kid." You forced a smile but the memories weren't exactly a happy one. You started to feel your chest tightening with hands feeling tingly. The tears were starting to pool in your eyes as you tremble so you excused yourself before you have a full blown attack in front of the team after remembering the words of the doctor after your surgery

> _"It's a pity, but you cannot play volleyball for long periods of time anymore, even after the therapy."_

With your sudden exit, Oikawa was alarmed. With no words said, he knew you were having an attack and was gonna bear it alone again. He wanted to leave then and there but as the captain of the team, it would be irresponsible to leave mid-game. He stayed and played but his focus isn't 100% in the game. He was constantly making misses and finally, the coach had him switched out with another member. He promised himself that he wouldn't let his team down in the practice match after their class, but right now he just had to be by your side.

After changing to his outdoor shoes, he runs to the back of the gym and finds you in the equipment shed, shaking as you try to breathe and will the tears to stop. 

"You just love hiding here, huh." He mutters to himself, walking towards you and pulling you to his embrace as he squats down. He rocks you softly, as he gently stroke your back. With his soft voice, he tries to guide your breathing as you try to match the rise and fall of his chest. After what felt like forever, you've finally calmed down. 

"I'm tired" you softly whimpered as you rest your head on his chest. The attack has passed and has sucked out all the energy from you. You felt Oikawa's arms tighten around you.

"It's okay, you can rest." His voice felt like home and soon enough, you caved into the abyss that has swallowed you whole.

***

"Coach is gonna kill you." Iwaizumi laughed as Oikawa fretted on the way to the gym for their practice match.

"You even missed homeroom. Where were you and Y/N?" Matsukawa asked when Yahaba and Watari met them en route, overhearing their conversation.

"You ditched us for Y/N senpai?!" Yahaba asked.

"Why are you even surprised" Watari laughed.

"Well it's not fair how senpai gets to have a love life while being so good at volleyball." Yahaba retorted, and Watari patting his back to console him. "By the way, where is Y/N senpai?"

"She's got cleaning duties but she'll come for the practice match. Also, it's not like that between Y/N and me. We're just childhood friends thats all. She was just going through something so I couldn't leave her side that moment." Oikawa rebutted, making Iwaizumi and Matsukawa exchange glances.

"So you're saying it's okay if Y/N dated some other guy?" Matsukawa asked.

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?" Oikawa quickly answered although something in the pit of his stomach didn't sit right with the words that came out of his mouth.

As they entered the gym, Oikawa got the scolding they were expecting while the rest prepared for their guest. Nekoma was arriving soon and so they had to set up quickly to have enough time for a warm up. 

It wasn't long until Nekoma arrived and lined up to greet Seijo. After formalities were done, Kuroo, Oikawa,and Iwaizumi hugged and shared some small talk when they heard a female voice scream at the top of her lungs.

"Finally! We're complete again!!" You jump to them and the three stumbles to catch you but you all fall anyway. You gave a hearty laugh that made Kuroo tuck some hair behind your ear.

"I'm back" He smiles.

"Welcome back!!" You beamed.

"Uhm, excuse me but Kuroo, coach wants to say something before the match." A guy who's just few inches taller than you came up with his silky hair bleached. You heard Kuroo address him as Kenma before you quickly stood along with the boys. As you were about to leave, Kuroo held your wrist and stopped you. 

"After the match, listen to what I have to say, Y/N. I missed my chance 2 years ago so I'm not letting today slip." He says before turning around and not giving you any chance to answer. He jogs quickly to where his team was and huddled for whatever the meeting was about. You looked at Oikawa and Iwaizumi for clues but they both shrugged as they didn't know what it was about either.

You went to the second floor of the gym where a number of audience had gathered to watch the match. Oikawa's fangirls were as noisy as ever but you were too happy to disregard them. It's been quite sometime and you've missed Kuroo and the 4 of you hanging out together. It sure brings nostalgia to have Oikawa and Iwaizumi on one side of the net while you and Kuroo stand on the other. Oh how you wished time would go back and you weren't third year high school students. Just some 2nd year middle school students who spends more time on volleyball than actual studying.

***

It was a tightly knit match with scores 25:23, 24:26, 28:26, and 26:28. As the teams were cooling down, you went Seijo's team first to cheer them up. You know your school's volleyball team were considered a powerhouse but Kuroo's team was too. Both teams gave it their all despite it being an unofficial one and the adrenaline of just watching had you all excited inside. 

"Damn, I miss playing." You softly say but as soon as you see the team looking at you with eyes such sad eyes, you perked up and shrugged it off. "Whats the puppy eyes for, I can still play a set! Who wants to be on my team?"

"I want to be on senpai's team!' Watari exlaimed and Yahaba joins in. You laughed as the team fights for their spot on your side, leaving Oikawa with just Kyotani. 

"Y/N?" Kuroo's voice made you turn your back on the team.

"What are you all shy for, it doesn't suit you." You walked up to him and playfully poked his sides before you turned back to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. "Don't leave before me or I'll pull out your hairs you got that? Oh and for the next game, I'll be with Watari, Yahaba, Matsukawa, Kindaichi and Kunimi" You smiled before leaving with Kuroo to have the talk that he had postponed for 2 years.

"It feels like Nekoma's captain is going to confess to Y/N senpai" Kindaichi talked without thinking and Kunimi elbowed his classmate, subtly looking at their captain's reaction. Iwaizumi caught on and chuckled, also curious as to how Oikawa would react.

"What do you mean? Kuroo's just our childhood friend. Why would he be confessing to Y/N?" Oikawa laughs in denial.

"Because he liked Y/N since middle school?" Iwaizumi says nonchalantly but the shock on Oikawa's face was too evident to make him laugh. "What's with that face? I thought you said you don't mind Y/N dating?" The team was trying to hold in their laugh at how pathetic their captain was looking now, considering the fact that he always has a group of girls screaming and squealing at the mention of his name. 

"But. But. Aren't you worried? I mean, isn't Y/N like a sister to you too?" Oikawa asked Iwaizumi as he shook his shoulders.

"She is, but if it's Kuroo, then I don't mind. Kuroo's a nice guy." Iwaizumi shrugs as he finishes up his cool down exercise.

"Well, I may be feeling more protective because I've known Y/N longer than you." Oikawa tries to rationalize this irrational feeling within him and its getting frustrating.

"You seriously are an idiot." Iwaizumi shakes his head. "Let us spell it out for you" he says, raising his finger and on cue, the whole team said in unison.

"You like Y/N senpai, captain"

Oikawa's face felt hot, eyes wide at how his team just blurted out a fact that he been denying his whole life. He didn't think any of it because it's normal for him and you to be together, as if it was already a given. Now that Kuroo's putting that 'normal' in danger, he couldn't sit still. Just as he was about to go out and get you, you've entered the gym with Kuroo following behind. Kuroo smiles as he waves towards him and Iwaizumi before he went to his team and packed up. Before Nekoma left, they bid farewell to Seijo's coaches and the team with Kuroo stopping by Y/N to ruffle her hair.

"I'll visit sometime soon," he says to her.

"Sure, just let us know in advance so we could keep the day free." you smiled up but the blush on your cheek has not calmed down then. 

Kuroo smiles and nods before leaving with his team back to Tokyo.

"What happened out there, having to talk in private and all?" Oikawa tried to sound cool and when he notices you spacing out and unaware of his existence beside you, he gently bumps his hips to you to grab your attention. "Earth to Y/N, where you at?" Oikawa asks, waving his hands in front of you.

"Yeah. Huh? Wait what?" You were confused and disoriented. You looked up at Oikawa and for the first time, his face was unreadable. "Go change and I'll buy you some milk bread on the way, okay?" You reached out and squeezed his hand, something the both of you do when one wasn't feeling well. Oikawa silently obliged and left with the team to change, giving you some time alone to process just what happened with your talk with Kuroo.

> _"I've liked you the moment I've laid my eyes on you but my feelings only grew deeper the more I got to know you. I was supposed to confess before I left for Tokyo, but Oikawa changed up the plans and I couldn't find the right timing to do it. Thought of letting it go since I'd be staying in Tokyo but I never once forgot about you, Y/N." Kuroo didn't stutter, although his eyes had a hard time looking at yours. Despite it, you felt how sincere he was at that moment. The gush of the wind made you realized you were gaping at him, totally unprepared for this scenario to unfold. He chuckled as he gently touched your chin to close your mouth. "Well, you don't have to give me an answer now. I've waited for 2 years already. I can still wait for a little longer. I just didn't want to regret not doing anything, you know?" He smiles, softly pinching your nose._

"So, gonna tell us what happened?" Iwaizumi addressed the silence as the three of you walked home together. 

"So, uh. Kuroo just confessed to me." You say, the memory still fresh as blood started running to your cheeks again.

"Well, finally." Iwaizumi mutters and you looked at him, surprised. 

"You knew?!" You shouted, your heart pounding within your chest. "Was I really that oblivious?" You try to reflect on those memories you've had together.

"Well, what was your answer?" Oikawa asks nonchalantly as he tries to hide the trembling of his fingers by biting into the milk bread you've bought him.

"I haven't given him any answer yet. It was too sudden, you know?" You answer, your fingers fiddling together as you walked. The feeling of being confessed to was so surreal that you didn't know how to deal with it. You were surprised but touched, felt confident yet shy. It was a whirlwind of emotions that you've felt for the first time.

"Well, you can't make him wait forever right? What answer are you leaning to right now?" Iwaizumi asks as he placed his hands in his pocket. He glanced at you as he waits for your answer but still paying attention to where he's walking at.

"I don't know." You covered your face and for the first time, Iwaizumi felt a small blush on his cheeks. He laughs because this was the first time he ever saw you act cute, and you weren't even trying. "But Kuroo as my boyfriend... it won't be that bad, huh?" You thought about it, playing out random scenarios of what could happen if you were to accept his confession. You were lost in your own world that you fail to notice Oikawa freezing in his place, dropping his milk bread as his chest tightens while his insides feel like it's being stabbed multiple times in multiple directions. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey bokekawa!" you entered the room as if it was your own. Oikawa was still tucked under his sheets, covering his head with his pillow at the sound of your voice. Little did you know, Oikawa had just fallen asleep when you came and barged into his room. He stayed up all night until the sun rose, thinking of all the possible scenarios when you become Kuroo's girlfriend.

It's not that he has anything against the guy. In fact, they had gotten along well in most aspects. He'd just find himself go off at the slightest hint of Kuroo's affection towards you. Iwaizumi was right. If there was any guy who'd take you away from him, he'd trust Kuroo the most, after Iwaizumi that is. But just the idea of you being by another man's side makes him feel an excruciating pain in the chest, like a million needles poking every inch of his heart which traveled down to his stomach. 

"Leave me alone" Oikawa groans under his pillows, his head thumping within his temples from the lack of sleep. 

"Are you actually sick?" You come up to him and sits on the side of his bed, forcing the pillow off his face. You place your hand on his face and to his forehead, checking for his temperature. When you noticed the bag under his eyes, you found yourself softly caressing them as your brows knit together. "Rough night?" 

"Guess so," he turns to his side to avoid seeing your face. He hadn't recovered from the chest pain of last night. "What are you here for so early in the morning. And on a Saturday to point out." He grumbles, shutting his eyes as he attempts to contain the headache.

"It's already 9AM!" You exclaim, the concern rising up like a mom tending to your sick and stubborn child. He was usually the morning person between the two of you so seeing him so lifeless in the late morning must mean he's not really feeling well. "Takeru told me he woke up to a zombie you in front of the fridge. Did you really not sleep the whole night?"

He was only able to grunt in response. You sighed and pulled the covers up before closing the curtain to give his room some dimness. "Well, I just thought that I have no idea what dating is like and... and you have dated quite a few girls right?" You rambled on, remembering all the girls who've confessed to Oikawa and the select few that he's gone out with, although none really lasted for more than a month.

"And so what about it? What do you want me to do?" Oikawa asks, his back still facing you.

As you mentioned his past relationships, he quickly thought about it and how it all ended the same way for the same reason. His past girlfriends had all told you to keep your distance because you were "too close" to him, and you obliged against your will. Despite your efforts not to ruin his relationships though, he still comes back to you and Iwaizumi, shrugging off the break up with a simple 'it just didn't work out'. After what his team pointed out the day before, it finally made sense why it never worked out. He even realized how he deserved some of the slaps he received from his ex-girlfriends. He didn't know whether to label himself as an asshole or just an idiot.

His train of thought was suddenly cut when he heard your voice, pulling him back to the present.

"Well, I was thinking maybe you can take me out on a date as a pretend boyfriend and give tips on what to do and what not to do on a date." You muttered, sitting on the side of his bed. You didn't notice Oikawa's face feel hot with the idea of being a couple, even if it was just pretending. "But if you're not feeling well today, I'll just go ask Iwa-cha--"

"I'll go." He cuts you off as he held onto your wrist when you stood up. "I'll go get ready. Meet you outside your house." he sat up properly, massaging his temples as the thumping continues. You pulled on his arm and made him look at you.

"Go eat something so you can take some painkillers before taking a shower." You continue to tug on his arm until he surrenders and stands up, allowing himself to be dragged by you.

He sat down at the dining table, watching you as you move around their house. You've memorized where everything was, getting the bowl and the carton of milk before struggling to reach the box of cereal on the cupboard. Oikawa chuckles to himself before he stood up and reached for the cereal behind you. He looks down at you, eyes disappearing as he laughs and teases you about your height. You made a face before playfully elbowing his side to set the table for him. Once you've made sure he had eaten before taking the painkiller, you left and went to your house which was just right beside his.

You went directly to your closet, looking at the available clothes that you have. You nervously laughed as you saw what's in front of you. It was basically 30% denim pants or shorts, 20% hoodies, 10% plain or striped t-shirts/long sleeves, and 40% Oikawa's shirt. You just loved oversized shirts and you get them for free! (well, because you stole them) You never were the type to mind what you wear for as long as you were comfortable. Now that you're thinking of going on a date, you finally realized that you needed to buy some clothes. 

You tried to make it work, grabbing what you have and facing the mirror to mix and match but none seemed to be good enough.

"Are you dressed?" You heard your best friend outside your door. You called out to say that you were before he went in and found you in the state he last saw you but with your bed holding mountains of clothes ripped from your cabinet. "What are you still doing in your pajamas?" He laughs, seeing your confused look.

"I don't know what to wear okay." You crossed your arms over your chest as you try and think of what you can do with the limited choices that you have. Oikawa walks toward your cabinet to try and help you, but his eyes got wide seeing most of his missing shirts in it.

"I ONLY WORE THIS ONCE AND IT SUDDENLY WENT MISSING. ONCE, Y/N." He takes the white and blue striped shirt from your cabinet which was honestly one of your favorites. "This one's your gift to me. It's MINE." He holds the shirt away from you as if expecting that you'd be taking it away from him but to his surprise, you didn't.

You studied how he was dressed, a printed white t-shirt underneath an unbuttoned denim long sleeves paired with some black ripped jeans. You imagined him wearing his favorite white sneakers to complete the outfit and you nodded in approval. "What?" Oikawa suddenly felt self-conscious at how you were staring at him. He felt his ears warm up as he tries to avoid your eyes.

"I really do admire your sense of fashion. No wonder you always catch the girls' attention." You smile at him before looking back at the pile of clothes on your bed. "Guess I also know why I didn't have guys confessing to me until Kuroo." You laugh as you scratch your nape, deciding to just go with your usual look. Ripped ankle-length jeans and some hoodie. 

"My first advice in dating is to just be you." Oikawa says as you turn around to face him. "If you find yourself trying to be someone else just to be with this one guy, drop him. If he can't see what he's missing, that's his loss. You're worth will never be based on your appearance, you got me?" His voice was so serious that you didn't have any response but to nod. "Besides, you're already beautiful without even trying." He gives you a soft smile as he pinches your cheeks before he walks out of your room to allow you to change. It left you with your heartbeat drumming on your chest. This was the first time you saw your best friend so serious outside of the court, and his last remark before leaving you caught you off guard. It was a different Oikawa that you've gotten used to. He was always so playful and mischievous around you that you've honestly only seen him as a child, but this was the first time he had your heart thumping for him.

 _Why is your heart pounding, idiot? He's just being a protective brother of some sort_ , you thought to yourself. You shook it off and continued to put on the clothes you've picked, letting your hair fall down on your shoulders and just sliding your favorite black silk scrunchy on your wrist. You went out of your room, surprised to see the living room empty as you expected Oikawa to wait for you there. 

"He's already outside." Your mom addresses your confused face with a smile from the kitchen. 

"Got it. See you later, mom!" You shouted as you got your black Chuck Taylors and clumsily wearing it as you leave the house.

"Why don't you just wear it properly before walking, you idiot?" He comes up to you and helps you tie your other shoe's laces. 

"You want the cute answer or the honest answer?" You asked which made him look up to you in confusion.

"Cute answer?" He answered with the intonation of a question.

You cleared your throat as you try to get into character, trying to remember all the manga scenes that you have read before. "I just... didn't want to make you wait for long..."

You heard Oikawa choke in a laugh, looking down to avoid your eyes. He was enjoying it too much and you wanted to hit him from embarrassment.

"And the truth?" he asked, standing up as he towers over you.

"I'm hungry, let's go!" You point towards the direction of the bus station, excitement oozing from your body. 

***

After buying you some snacks in the nearby park, Oikawa pointed out the mall across the main street. You mentioned wanting to guy buy some clothes for a change and he was more than willing to help out. You really weren't paying attention to the name of the stores you enter because you were having so much fun playing around with him. He'd choose clothes for you and you'd choose clothes for him and you'd walk like you're on a runway in a two-man fashion show.

This was your fifth outfit for the third store and you were currently wearing dark, high waisted ripped jeans with a light pink off shouldered cropped top that ended just above the pants, leaving no gap for some tummy exposure. 

"I like this! It makes my legs look longer." You stand in front of the mirror with Oikawa standing behind you, nodding in approval. As you went back to change after deciding to get it, Oikawa's hand slides into your changing room, wiggling a dress he found.

"Try this, try this. I think this skirt will still match with the top you have on now." His voice was so excited behind the curtains that you chuckle and complied even though you've already decided on what to buy.

You examined the cloth in front of you and realized it was indeed just a skirt and not a whole dress. It was a black pleated maxi skirt with a thin pink ribbon at its waistband. You smiled at how Oikawa was right. It matched the cropped top you were wearing, and for the first time, you actually felt pretty. You twirled in delight only to slip and fall on your butt. Oikawa heard the commotion and quickly came in to see what happened. Embarrassed, you laughed as he reached out to help you stand up but you noticed the skirt having a slit, exposing the surgery scars on your right leg. The smile has now been wiped from your face as you remember why you stick with knee-high socks or pants. You quickly held onto both ends of the slit, covering up your leg.

"I'm sticking with the pants after all." You say with eyes on the ground. You didn't realize you were trembling until Oikawa had his hands over yours, firmly holding it.

"I'm buying this skirt for you. It suits you, especially when you wear it with a smile." He says, eyes looking straight at you before he playfully pinched your nose. "I'll go look for a top to go with it since what your wearing now matches the pants better. Treat it as a late birthday gift!" He helped you stand up but before he could turn around and leave, you held his wrist as you shook your head. 

"You really don't have to." You say, your lips twitching into an awkward smile.

"What? You worried about this?" He bends down and pulled the slit to the side, exposing the scars you've been trying to hide. "If I were you, I'd be proud to show them off. I mean, if it wasn't for you, that kid could have died you know." He smiled up to you but as soon as he sees you crying, he stood up to wipe your tears, suddenly panicking if he said anything wrong.

"Thank you, Tooru." You managed to bring out the words.

As he heard your voice and saw your smile, he was able to breathe again before gently resting his forehead on yours.

"Don't scare me like that," he whispers with his eyes closed before standing up straight to smile at you before he leaves to find a top for your skirt.

As soon as he left, you took a good look at yourself in the mirror, with the slit of the skirt exposing your leg. You smiled as you remembered his words, his touch, his smile. Maybe it was okay to think about my scars as something to be proud of, and not something to be ashamed of after wasting what could have been a professional career in volleyball after high school. Not a dream that has been made unreachable, but most especially, aa Tooru pointed out, not a sacrifice in vain.

***

You found yourself playing in the arcade soon after, laughing at how Oikawa tried to hit the beats of the drum game he is currently playing.

"You suck," you laughed as you took a video of a panicking Oikawa, desperately trying to hit every note and constantly complaining at how it was too impossible to hit everything. You challenged him, feeling a bit confident after seeing how clumsy he was during his turn but as the song started, you realized he wasn't kidding when he said it was hard. It wasn't long until you were panicking the way he did but instead of laughing at you, he even tried to help you by taking charge of the drums on the right side so you could focus on the left. You have both the sticks while he uses his hand to hit his part of the drums.

"I. Am. Hungry." Oikawa says as he places his hands on his waist, frustrated at our 4th attempt and always being eliminated on the first song. You looked at your watch and gasped when you realized it was already 3 PM and you still have not eaten lunch.

"Well, it's already 3! How could we not noticed?" You laughed, shaking your head as you took the paper bags of the clothes you bought but Oikawa took them from you before putting his free arm over your shoulder.

"When did we ever pay attention to time?" He looks at you with a raised brow. 

You couldn't argue back as you just nod, smiling at your best friend. It was true, you've always didn't bother with time when you're with him. Even as children, your parents would always scold both of you for missing out on lunch or dinner while you get lost in your own world as you play. You were just having too much fun with him that you even forgot what you came here for in the first place until your phone vibrated from your pocket, making you stop. Oikawa stopped beside you, casually looking at your screen when Kuroo's name popped up. 

You were too flustered to notice Oikawa's arm drop from your shoulder as he gives you space while you read his message over and over again.

_Hey, Y/N. I'm visiting Miyagi next week and thought maybe we could meet up? If possible, can we have time for just the both of us before meeting up with Oikawa and Iwaizumi? Ah! Don't worry! I won't pressure you for an answer. I just honestly want to spend some time together, if that's okay._   
  


"Should we eat over there?" Oikawa asks, bringing you back to reality. Your flustered smile and rosy cheeks silently brought back the chest pain he had suffered last night. He didn't even wait for your response before facing his back to you as he walked in the direction of the family restaurant he pointed. He heard your pointless mutters to yourself, practicing your responses before typing them out. He lets you pick a seat while he orders.

Finding a table for 4 at the corner of the store, you focused on your phone. When the hell did it suddenly become like this? Why weren't you able to reply to Kuroo like before when you've gotten along so well during middle school? Why are you suddenly so conscious of how you act or what you say in front of him when he liked you way before? This means that he fell in love with the normal you, and not the try-hard you, right? 

All the questions overwhelmed you as it jumbled in your mind. 

"Why are you thinking so hard? You're making it more awkward than it should be." Oikawa slips in front of you with the tray of food. 

"Well sorry for being so inexperienced. I just get flustered easily, that's all." You answered, taking a bite at your fries as you opened the burger to remove the pickles. Oikawa's burger was already open, just waiting for you to put them into his burger before he could start eating. When it comes to food, you and Oikawa had been the best of pairs. He ate what you didn't and vice versa, therefore no food is wasted when it comes to the both of you. It has been like that since childhood and you thought of it as normal until you heard the couple behind you, commenting on how sweet it was for your _boyfriend_ to eat your pickles. 

Boyfriend.

Oikawa? You find yourself staring at him, thinking of scenarios if he were to be your boyfriend. Looking back at today, and just today alone, you have already gone through a mix of emotions from worrying about him to being vulnerable around him and even experiencing the doki doki like those in a manga! Even so, you didn't hate it. It still feels like home. He feels like home. 

"Earth to Y/N?" Oikawa waves his hands in front of your face and suddenly you were snapped from your daydreaming. 

_Why were you thinking of Oikawa as your boyfriend when it was Kuroo who confessed to you?_ You mentally slapped yourself as you shook your head, apologizing to your best friend in front of you.

"Yeah, I don't know why I'm making such a big fuss over it. Let me just reply like how I usually do." You say, typing into your phone a quick _No problem! Just set the time and meet up place. Stay safe!_ before focusing back to the present as you smile towards Oikawa. "You know today, we just had fun by ourselves. I honestly forgot why I asked you out today in the first place until Kuroo messaged me." You pointed out as you took a bite into your burger. It was only for a split second when Oikawa's body tensed before giving you a bright smile.

"Ah, right. I forgot too. Well, I'll start being your boyfriend for the day, Y/N chaaan~" his tone got flirtatious which reminded you of how he acts around his fangirls. You unconsciously rolled your eyes but Oikawa wasn't letting it slide. "What was that?"

"Huh?" You asked him but as he mimicked your previous action, you understood what he was asking about. "It's just that... uhm well. Is that how you would treat your girlfriend, Tooru?" You asked.

"I think?" He answers as he genuinely thinks about it. 

"I guess I know why your past relationships didn't work." You chuckled, unaware of the sudden tension in Oikawa's body. His eyes slightly widened, anticipating what you were about to say. Did you figure it out? What was he gonna do if you did? Pretend to be clueless to save the friendship or does he come clean and snag the chance while you haven't accepted Kuroo's confession? There was a silent war that was going in on Oikawa's head when you continued what you were about to say. "You don't treat your girlfriend differently than your fangirls. You know, your girlfriend should be above those fangirls, right? Even _I_ know that. Ah, I suddenly pity them, even if none were really kind to me." You shook your head and relief washed through Oikawa's whole body.

"Yeah, my bad. I'll do better next time." He nervously chuckles, drinking his soda as he suddenly got thirsty.

As his body relaxed, you found yourselves talking about volleyball and the different powerhouses in Miyagi prefecture. After all, the inter-high tournament is coming in 2 months which had the boys practice a lot harder than they used to. You've always admired how Oikawa fell in love with volleyball but it always hurt you to see him pushing himself to the limit while he compares himself to others, like Ushijima or Kageyama. Despite his egoistic act, he's been the harshest critique of himself. There wasn't anything you could do but to cheer him on and keep him in check whenever he starts to lose himself. 

You both got distracted by the noise coming from outside. You were surprised at how dark it has become but the park on the other side of the street was bright with all the stalls and lanterns set up. It was a festival and your eyes lit up as you looked at Oikawa. He chuckles, understanding without a word as he stood up and took the paper bags in one hand while he takes your hand in the other. Holding hands were normal for the both of you but this time, he interlaced his fingers with yours making blood rush to your cheeks.

"Gotta do my part as the boyfriend," he smiles before he gently tugs on your hand and leads you out of the restaurant and into the festival.

As you passed the street and entered the long line of stalls, you excitedly dragged Oikawa to your favorite dessert: candied apple. You were seriously choosing between the red glazed apple or the green glazed apple, unaware that you've been biting your index finger's nail. As soon as you finally decided on the red one, Oikawa had already paid for it was just waiting for you to accept it.

"How did you know I was getting the red one?" You asked, amazed.

"Because you never get the green one," he laughs as he tugs you along to explore the festival further. 

As you looked around, an uncle approached and offered some free drinks. As the fruity scent enticed you, you had gulped the cup in one go. You enjoyed the sweet and citrus flavor despite the bitter aftertaste and you've honestly considered buying one to take home. The uncle was surprised before giving out a hearty laugh and pointing out to his store.

"If you'd want more, you can just tell to the lady over there that you'd want the fruit mix." The uncle smiled before handing out some more free drinks to others.

Oikawa found it strange to have the drink named as a mix but as he placed the cup to his lip to have taste, he recognized the scent before snapping his head to look at you.

"If you're not gonna drink that, can I have it?" You smiled up to him. He was looking at you intently, trying to see if there is any difference in your state. When you punched his stomach for staring at you to hide your embarrassment, he thought to himself that you were fine. "Are you gonna drink it?" You repeated and Oikawa chugged the contents in one go as an answer.

"This is alcoholic. I can't have you drunk or your mom will kill me." He answers you, patting your head. He took your cup and went to find a trashcan but when he came back for you, you had already asked for another glass from the uncle who gave it out in the first place.

"This guy's so stingy, he didn't give me his." You explained to the uncle, enjoying your drink as you finished 3/4th of it when Oikawa took the cup from you and saw your flushed face.

"Damn it, Y/N. Were you not listening?" Oikawa hissed, finishing the rest of the drink despite your protest. Once done, he took your hand and dragged you along to the trashcan, learning not to leave you alone anymore. 

"That was mine you--" You weren't able to finish as you felt the burger and fries climbing up your esophagus. You tried to gulp it back in, not wanting to puke outside. You tried to distract yourself with whatever you can when you see the lights from the trees around the man-made pond of the park. You squealed as you ran towards it, with Oikawa being caught off guard and falling behind. On the way, however, you tripped on the rocky pavement, scraping your knee in the process. Oikawa quickly got to you, bending down to see if you were okay. When he saw your knees, his face was contorted with anger. He kept quiet as he lifted you up and sat you on the nearby bench. He knew your bag always had bandaids and some wet wipes being the klutz that you are, so he got them and cleaned your wound before putting a bandaid over it.

"... are you mad?" You quietly asked as you poked his cheek, your voice tentative as you didn't like how silent he was.

"You're such a troublesome girl," Oikawa muttered, making a mental note to never let you near any alcoholic drink for as long as he's alive. You were too vulnerable in this state and he wouldn't want to take on any chances for other guys to take advantage of it. "Why are you so carefree? This is why you always get hurt." He lectures, still on his knees. He always hated how you had little regard for your body. 

"Because Too-chan is always there to take care of me," you answered proudly. You felt light and a bit disoriented, which had you missing on Oikawa's reaction to you calling him his childhood nickname. "Keep it a secret from Iwa-chan okay?" you whispered, pulling Oikawa up to sit beside you. He obliged as he sat beside you, face a blushing mess with his heart drumming on his chest.

"What's the secret?" He asks. 

"I like Too-chan the best!" You softly giggled before your eyes lids started to drop. You rested your head on Oikawa's shoulders, sleeping soundly at the intoxication from the drink. It was your first alcohol and you have yet to build up your tolerance, having you knocked out early.

Contrary to your peaceful slumber, Oikawa was having a mental breakdown, his insides churning and his face warm. He looks at you and gently takes your hair away from your face. 

"Too-chan" you softly muttered.

"That's sly, Y/N" Oikawa answers, with the thumping of his heart resonating his whole body. Before he was able to think, his body moved as he leaned over, his lips ever so softly pressing on yours. 


	3. Chapter 3

You woke up in your bed with the warmth of the sun hitting your face. You don't remember how you got home from the festival but as you sat down, you felt like your head was about to split into half by such a sharp pain. As your mom opens your door to put in the laundry she has finished folding, she continues to scold you about how you drank when you were still not in the age to drink. As she continues to lecture, you close your eyes shut as your press your temples. This was one of the worst headaches you've ever experienced in your 18 years of existence. 

"I want you to go out and think about your actions, young lady! I'm not raising a drunkard daughter in this household." She finishes, dropping your freshly folded clothes on your bed before slamming the door on her way out.

As you see yourself still in your clothes from yesterday, you stood up and changed into some comfortable sweatpants and one of Tooru's shirt. Loose clothing sure had its comfort. You gathered your hair and twisted it up, pulling the scrunchy on your wrist to create a messy bun before going outside and into the house next door.

"Oh! Y/N chan, good morning!" Oikawa's mother smiled up at you and offered you some breakfast. It seems as though they just finished so you just politely declined with the excuse that you've had your breakfast at home even if you didn't. "Alright, alright. You can go to Tooru now. You guys can never be separated, huh?" She chuckles, smiling warmly towards you. You just gave her an innocent shrug before smiling as you left.

"Mom kicked me out," You said as soon as you entered his room. Oikawa was still sprawled in his bed, looking at you by the door with darker bags hanging under his eyes. "You sticking to that zombie aesthetic huh?" You laugh as you closed the door behind you, sitting in front of the table in the middle of his room. You spread your arms you rested your chin on the table, eyes tightly shut as another episode of thumping occurred on your temples. "Tooru, my head hurts." you whined, placing your hands behind your head as your forehead lay flat on the surface.

"Mine too." Oikawa sighed, the reason still vivid in his head. "You should drink something for that hangover of yours." He looked towards you but when you didn't respond, he stood up and repeated himself only to stop mid-way to see you sleeping. He found himself sitting beside you, looking at your peaceful face. It made him happy at how comfortable you are with him, but at the same time sad at how this comfort may come from you seeing him as nothing but family. 

He rests his elbows on the table and leans his head on his palm, watching you when his eyes fell to your lips. 

Flashes of last night's memories played back in his mind, blood rushing to his face. He quickly stands up, getting away from you before he attacks you again.

***

You woke up to a warm blanket over your shoulder. 

"Morning, drunkard." Iwaizumi's voice was teasing as he sat in front of you, scrolling through his phone.

"Shut up, I didn't know it was alcoholic okay," you rebutted when Oikawa came in the room and placed a plate of sandwich in front of you.

"Hey Iwa-chan, did you know she got kicked out because of it" Oikawa teases, sitting on the side before slipping pain killers and a glass of water beside your sandwich. 

"Mom was A-rate pissed." You said with large eyes and a face that had the boys cackling.

"Nee cha-- Iwa nii-chan is here too!!" Takeru barged in the room with such youthful energy. "Can we play can we play!" 

"I'd love to!!!" You perked up at Oikawa's nephew's request.

"Oh you volleyball crackheads" Oikawa's sister peeks in the room, smiling at all of us. "Be sure not to push Y/N chan to the limit, Takeru." She reminds his son who nods with a bright smile before hugging you from behind. 

"I'll take care of Nee-chan, mom!" 

"You sure you can play?" Iwaizumi asks you and you just gave him a smile and a thumbs up while Oikawa banters with his nephew.

"You're too clingy, Takeru."  
"But you're like this to nee-chan too!"  
"Well we're best friends, and you're not"  
"What a kid. I can't believe you're actually a senior,"

"Okay okay," you laugh, stepping in before Oikawa gets roasted by an elementary kid. "I'll just finish my sandwich and then we'll play, okay?" 

Takeru excitedly ran out to get his volleyball while you smile as you eat your sandwich, finding him really cute.

"You're really an idiot." Iwaizumi laughs before standing up to look into Oikawa's cabinet. "I'm not dressed for a play so let me borrow some clothes" however, as he opened it, he was surprised. "I think you need more clothes." He commented which made you choke on the water you were drinking at the moment.

"Tell the shirt thief right here." Oikawa points at you but you smile to feign innocence, quickly finishing the sandwich so you can get out and just play for fun.

***

"Nee-chan, don't you think jump serves are cool?" Takeru says as you all start at one side of the net after warming up. The neighborhood's gym was quiet on this Sunday morning, having the four of you as the only visitors besides the elderly couple doing their morning stretches. You've changed into your volleyball shorts while wearing knee-length socks and Oikawa's oversized shirt. With a band to keep your hair away from your face, you tied up your hair in a high ponytail, ready to play. 

"They are," you smiled at him, but as you noticed his eyes expecting more, you pouted as you bent to meet his eye. "I'm a libero and I don't serve, so you can't count on me for that. Your uncle may be an idiot but he's got one of the best serves here in Miyagi," you suggested, instantly regretting it as soon as you notice a smug smirk on Oikawa's face after hearing you praise him.

"That good?" He now looks up to his uncle, who starts laughing as his ego inflates. He didn't have to answer by words. Instead, he gets into position, throwing the ball up as he runs and hits the ball with a force that made the sound of impact reverberate the whole court. Takeru couldn't help but gape in awe of the power his uncle's serves had.

"Serves are a powerful way of scoring, Takeru." Oikawa smiles, showing a peace sign before running for the ball on the other side of the court.

"Past matches, I think there were only a few who could cleanly return his serves," Iwaizumi admits, practicing his own serves which were in his own way powerful too.

"Nishinoya-san has been able to receive it since middle school right?" You say, smiling at that one guy who can qualify to be your first crush, but it was more of admiration at his receiving skills than the person himself. When Takeru looked at you with a confused face, you smiled as you explained. "He's a great libero, but a year level below us and he plays for Karasuno at the moment."

"Aren't you a libero too, Nee-chan?" Takeru asks.

"Well, aside from a few players, y/n was one of those who could receive Oikawa's serves." Iwaizumi remembers the middle school practices you've played with them. Despite being a girl, you were able to establish your place in their court, both in middle school and high school. But just like Oikawa, Iwaizumi knows all the efforts you've put into to be able to hone those skills the way that they were. You were no born volleyball genius. You just simply loved the sport, and playing it just made you happy.

"Teach me, Nee-chan! I wanna be able to receive his serves too!" Takeru says, tugging on your shorts.

"Oi. That was before the accident, Takeru." Iwaizumi warns but it did give you an adrenaline rush, thinking about the old days.

"Let's try it." You smile, trying to ease Iwaizumi's worry before shouting on the other side of the court where Oikawa was at. "Give it one more shot, great king." You teased, bending your knees as you anticipate for Oikawa's serve. He, on the other side of the court, smiles a competitive smile. You motioned for the two to go forward, leaving the receive up to you. As Oikawa threw the ball, your eyes concentrated on it, studying it's spin and the direction of Oikawa's hands at the point of contact. You were able to get into position for the receive, but its force was heavy, putting a significant force on your leg down to your ankle -- which was bad. The ball went up which Takeru was able set for Iwaizumi to spike.

"That was awesome!!" Takeru ran up to you with excitement oozing of his body. You gave him a pat on the head as you try to ignore the sharp pain pulsing on your leg. You heard your phone ring which gave you a reason to excuse yourself from the court, trying to walk as normally as you could. As you picked up the phone, ignoring the caller's ID, you sat down to rest the pressure on your feet.

"Hey," the distant yet familiar voice had your whole attention shifted from your ankle to the voice.

"Kuroo," You answered, a sudden nervous chuckle escaping your lips. "Hi, what's up?" You asked, feeling your heart pound. It's been a few days since his confession, yet the memory still rushes back as soon as you have any form of interaction with him. _Ugh, such a loser,_ you thought to yourself.

"Nothing much, I just saw a photo of us in middle school and thought of calling you." He says. "You free to talk?"

"Yeah, I'm resting right now so I can talk. I'm actually in the volleyball gym with Iwa chan, Tooru and Takeru." You answered, eyes on your feet as you smile. "What picture did you find?" You asked and he only chuckled before you received a line notification. "Got it. Let me look" you say before putting your phone away from your ear to view the message.

You saw an old photo of the group during the middle school festival. You were dressed as a prince for the class's play, riding on the back of Kuroo who played the horse. Iwaizumi was beside you as the knight in metal armor while Oikawa posed as the dramatic princess. You find yourself laughing at how it turned out because the roles were decided through draw lots. 

"I made a good prince huh?" You chuckled, putting back the phone to your ear.

"You can't beat me being the horse." Kuroo playfully responded, creating his best horse impression which had you laughing heartily. 

"You idiot" you said, finishing your fit of laughter as Kuroo's laugh died down on the other line.

"Yeah, I really do be stupid for you at times," a shy chuckle accompanied Kuroo's sudden attack which had you blushing. Thank goodness he wasn't there to see you. "The cereal's on the other cabinet, Kenma." his voice suddenly sounded distant.

"If you have visitors, I won't keep you for long." You say before Oikawa went up beside you to grab his water bottle. Takeru was also asking for you to play some more but your foot was still hurting. "Let me finish this phone call first, okay?" You say to Takeru when Iwaizumi came up to you and gave you a cold drink. 

"Oh, they miss you already." Kuroo says with a chuckle. "It's okay. I can just call some other time. Make sure not to push it, y/n. Don't get hurt." His voice suddenly sounded warm, in contrast to the playful tone you both were having before. You weren't able to say anything before Kuroo grunted and scolding Kenma who spilled water on his assignments. "I'll go ahead then, talk to you soon." He gets back to you with his tone now mixed with a hint of frustration.

"Yeah, sure. Talk to you soon." You answered before the line was cut. You were now a bit more aware of Kuroo, noticing the slight changes in his tone. As you twist the cap of the bottle, Iwaizumi stopped you before placing the bottle beside your ankle. You looked at him, rubbing the back of your head. "I got caught," you say with a weak laugh while Iwaizumi looks at you with a straight face.

"Oikawa's stupidity is rubbing off on you. I warned you but you let yourself get excited with Takeru hyping you up." he shook his head before taking the ball that rolled to your side.

"Iwa nii-chan, sorry! That ball is mine!" Takeru says but Iwaizumi just hits it, accurately hitting the back of Oikawa's head which bounced back to Iwaizumi's hands.

"Hey! That hurt!!" Oikawa looks back to find the culprit, only to see you biting your lips to contain your laugh and Iwaizumi getting back into court.

"Let y/n rest first. We'll play with you," Iwaizumi told Takeru which had Oikawa noticing the bottle resting on y/n's ankle. "She's fine" Iwaizumi assures Oikawa but the worry on his face did not leave until y/n shows an O-K sign from his seat, not wanting him to feel responsible for it.

***

After resting for some time, you bought food for lunch in the nearby convenience store while they continue to train Takeru's spiking form. He has been aiming to be the ace of his team, and the captain and vice-captain of Aoba Johsai are betting on their reputation to train him. You just laugh at how serious they all were until you called them for lunch. Takeru slumps next to you, tired with the heavy training he's been receiving since morning.

"You can't just give up now," Oikawa says, taking his milk break and the sports drink as if he knows it's what you bought for him. Iwaizumi and Takeru head for the onigiri, battling over which one gets the salmon. A quick game of rock-paper-scissors decided the winner which had Takeru sulking after losing.

"Iwa nii-chan, I didn't' know you were childish too." Takeru commented, making Oikawa laugh.

"I'm sorry little boy, but food is food. You can have the tuna." He passes the tuna onigiri to Takeru who instinctively caught it despite wanting to argue.

"Now now, it's okay. I'll give you my cream puffs," You offered your dessert which had Takeru smiling before hugging you and thanking you.

After eating lunch, you've played a bit more, giving into Takeru's request when Iwaizumi got called home to help with some chores. You bid your farewells and walked home with Oikawa carrying Takeru on his back. You laugh at how peaceful Takeru was sleeping, after being worn out from the devil's training of the two. 

"You didn't hold back today," you said to Oikawa, laughing as you shake your head.

"I did that for him. If you're gonna hit it--"

"Hit it until it breaks" you finish along with him, memorizing the phrase your best friend has said to himself over and over again.

You were taken back to those late-night practices you accompany him with back in middle school, pushing himself to the limit after losing to Shiratorizawa. The look of frustration in his eyes every time his serves end up out of bounds etched into your mind. At that time he kept wallowing on the fact that he'll never be as good as Ushijima or the first year Kageyama to the point where he considered quitting. As soon as you heard about it from Iwaizumi after class, you barged into his room to give him a piece of your mind but the moment that you did, your anger was replaced with hurt. You saw him on the corner of his room, knees to his chest as he looks at you with tear-stained cheeks. He never said the words, but the quivering of his lips told plenty: he felt like it wasn't enough. All his best efforts were not enough.

_"You can't quit mid-way, bokekawa" you softly say as you approached him, bending down to meet his eyes. "You'll never be able to defeat Ushijima like that."_

_"It's not like I could--"_

_"YES, YOU COULD. If you'd just stop thinking for a moment that you are not a born-genius and see the immense effort you have put into being the player that you are now, you'd realize that genius setter you're constantly aware of, Kageyama Tobio, ACTUALLY LOOKS UP TO YOU." You say, trying to shake some sense into him, with your own tears streaming down your cheeks. "You could be able to defeat Ushijima, but if you quit, then yeah you couldn't."_

_Oikawa reached out to you, crashing into your chest as he sobbed. The bottled-up frustration had finally flowed out, crumpling your shirt into his fist as he held onto you tightly. You fell onto your bum as you leaned to the wall to help support his weight. You rubbed his back as you mutter words of assurance, that he was enough and that he shouldn't give up. He cried some more until the both of you fell asleep, not moving an inch from your position._

As you were about to go into Oikawa's house, your mother called out for you by your front door. 

"She's talking to me now," You commented, making Oikawa chuckle. 

"I'll see you tomorrow," he says before waving to your mom and heading inside their house.

You walked to your house, head bowed down. You weren't sure if your mom was still mad, but at least she's talking to you now, right? As you reach your front door, you saw your mom with her arms across her chest.

"I'm sorry, mom" you finally apologized, which had your mom's stern face melt. It was as if she was only waiting for it the whole day.

"As long as you don't do it again," she sighed, patting your head before letting you in the house. You smiled and hugged her from behind when your phone vibrated from your pocket, revealing a message from Kuroo.

 _Free to talk, can I_ call?

You quickly sprinted to your room, closing your door behind you as you try to calm the fast beating of your heart. 

_Sure,_ you responded and in just a matter of seconds, he was already calling.

"Hey," He says as you sat on the floor by your bed. You still haven't showered so you wouldn't want to lie there just yet.

"Hey," you answered, pulling your legs to your chest as you try to hide the smile from your face. 

"Hey,-- ah. I just said that, didn't I?" He says, making you both laugh. 

The talk with him was casual, talking about the days you haven't been together and filling up those moments you've missed. Sure, this wasn't your first time talking on the phone with Kuroo since he moved to Tokyo, but this was the first time you've felt all giddy and excessively happy. Maybe it was the fuzzy feeling on your chest or the butterflies in your stomach, but the way Kuroo sounds so shy yet so happy while talking to you never fails to make you smile. 

Is this what it feels like to be liked by someone?

The conversation flowed smoothly with Kuroo sliding in a few compliments and advances here and there but he always ends up laughing, embarrassed. You didn't notice the call lasting for hours until you felt your stomach grumble. Looking up the clock, it was already 11 PM and that surprised you.

"It's already this late?!" You failed to keep your thoughts within your mind.

"Now that you mentioned it..." Kuroo answers, "Did you even eat dinner?" he asks as you heard movement on the other line. 

"About to," you answered as you walked to the kitchen with your phone, hoping that the curry from last night which was supposed to be your dinner today has not been placed in the fridge. When you opened the fridge, there was no curry. You sighed as you closed it before perking up when you saw a plate by the dining table. You walked up to it and found an omurice and a note that says

_I ate your portion for the curry since you're taking too long on the phone. Don't worry, I replaced it with omurice. Your mom's curry is the best! You snooze, you lose! -Tooru_

"Damn it," you muttered, having Kuroo ask if what happened. "Bokekawa ate my precious curry and replaced it with omurice from his home."

"He ate there?" Kuroo asks, his voice suddenly sounded quiet.

"I didn't know. I was locked up in my room talking to you, but yeah. From time to time he does." You answer nonchalantly, sitting down as you took a bite nonetheless. "How about you? Are you eating?"

"Yeah, made myself some sandwich. You and Oikawa... have you ever dated?" He suddenly asked, making you choke on your food.

"What are you on about?" You couldn't help but laugh at the idea, "that guy doesn't even see me as a woman. I honestly don't see myself as one too which would probably make you the first." You brushed it off as a joke, putting your phone on speakerphone as you continue to eat.

"I'm sure that's not true." Kuroo says, remembering how Oikawa would always react every time he sees you with him. But if you don't feel anything towards it, maybe he doesn't have anything to worry about? He hopes that's the case, but still he can't let his guard down. Not when he's far from you and Oikawa's always by your side. "Hey, YN."

"Hmm?" you hum absentmindedly, ignoring Kuroo's protest as you thought it was just him comforting your insecurities.

"I hope the week finishes soon. I can't wait to see you," he says taking you by surprise.

Heat starts to creep up your face as you mutter a low response "yeah... me too." 

You heard a soft chuckle before Kuroo spoke once more. "It's already late. Finish your dinner before you go to bed. We still have class tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay. You too." You answered with one hand on your cheek as the other held the phone close to your ears, removing it from speakerphone mode. Damn, your cheeks were burning.

"Goodnight," Kuroo's raspy voice made you feel things inside your stomach as your heart rate suddenly sped up.

"Goodnight," you weakly muttered. You ended the call before you explode with all this foreign yet pleasant feeling. As you look at your phone, you realized the duration lasted for more than 7 hours. Although between those 7 hours, you both were able to take a bath and do some homework, you just refused to put the phone down and continued to share comfortable silence now and then. Admittedly, those 7 hours were wonderful. 

_Would this be how things are if Kuroo and I start dating?_ You thought to yourself as you finished your food and washed the dishes before heading off to your dreamland, not being able to wipe that damned smile all the while.


	4. Chapter 4

"Why the hell did you not sleep, idiot!" you mutter to yourself as you get ready to meet Kuroo. The week passed by so quickly and now you were rushing to get to the station where you'd meet up. You wore the outfit that you bought with Tooru while you pull your hair up for a half ponytail, leaving a few strands on the side of your face because... well that's how you saw girls do it on Pinterest. You quickly grabbed a small purse, chucking your wallet and phone in before heading out.

_I'm just by the vending machine outside of the station. Got here quite early, but no rush. See you soon._

You cursed under your breath as you ran to your destination after receiving Kuroo's message.

You were supposed to meet by 9 AM and then get together with Iwaizumi and Oikawa by 2 PM. You sure were nervous but excited at the same time. The past week, Kuroo has been more forward about his advance, making sure you don't forget about his confession even if he was 200 miles away-- and he was successful at doing so.

You looked at your watch as you hopped off the train and to the exit where Kuroo was waiting -- 9:15 AM. _Damn_ , you internally cursed as you ran when you saw him sitting by the railings facing the exit of the station.

"Hey-" Kuroo wasn't able to keep a straight face as he openly stares at you, mouth slightly hanging open.

"I'm sorry I'm late." You say in between your breath as you try to wipe your sweat at the back of your hand. "Uhm, Kuroo?" You tried to catch the attention of the man spacing out in front of you.

"You dressed up... for me?" Kuroo's voice was soft, almost just above a whisper.

He covered half of his face with his hands, his blush still visible nonetheless as he looks away. He was expecting you to show up in your signature hoodie+jeans look so you coming up to him with an off shouldered crop top and skinny ripped jeans had his heart skip a beat -- but no. You were too conscious of your appearance to notice all that.

"It looks weird on me, huh?" You say looking down at your get-up. "I'm sorry if it made you uncomfortable."

Kuroo's head snapped towards your direction, panic written all over his face.

"YOU DO NOT LOOK WEIRD. YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL." He says loudly in panic which took you by surprise. Realizing how he lost his cool, he clears his throat in an attempt to regain his laid back reputation. "I just-- I was surprised. But in a good way." He explains, rubbing his nape shyly as he tries to look back into your eyes. "I'm happy you dressed up for me." He chuckles a little before smiling at you with a warm gaze.

"J.just as planned." You tried to play it cool too, crossing your arms over your chest as you look away, trying to hide the blood rushing to your face and ears. But the moment you look back to him, you both find yourselves laughing.

"So, where are we going this morning? Have anything in mind?" You ask as you start to walk with Kuroo walking beside you, matching your pace.

"I don't mind walking around randomly, as long as I get to be with you." He says, putting his hands in the pocket of his red bomber jacket as he faces ahead while you try to subdue the fluttery feeling on your stomach. It was okay to let out a squeal on a pillow once or twice whenever he does this through your phone calls or messages, but you had nowhere to hide your face in when he's standing right beside you. When Kuroo notices your silence, he looks back at you and was surprised to see you flustered with his advances.

"Is this how you look when I say these through the phone?" He leans over to match your eye level, a teasing smirk appearing on his lips.

"Shut up." You look away as you gently push his face away.

 _Damn, she's too cute._ Kuroo could only laugh to express the bubbly feeling he has on his chest.

"Thank you," you answered, now the smug smirk was on you which had Kuroo realize his mental statement was verbalized accidentally. "Well, there's this new cafe that opened up around the corner, and I thought you might like it," You say, walking ahead as you lead the way.

Kuroo's curiosity was soon turned to surprise as you stood in front of a cat cafe. His eyes lit up as he walked towards the glass, tapping on it to catch the attention of one white cat with brown spots lounging by the cat tree.

You smiled to yourself, thinking it was a great plan to bring him here. His cool exterior wore off as he excitedly plays with the cat across the glass -- but the moment he opens the door and waits for you to get in, you froze.

"W..we're going in?" you asked, which had Kuroo looking at you as if you spoke some foreign language.

"We weren't?" His question made you feel utterly dumb.

Of course, he'd want to go in. You excitedly brought him here, knowing how much he liked cats that you forgot you were scared of them. For as long as you can remember, animals have always been aggressive towards you. They have always been adorable through the screen but not in person, not when they're in close distance from you.

 _"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" you found yourself being backed up in a street post as the cat approached you with its back arched, ready to pounce. You didn't know what you did to it, and even if it was just a small cat, its piercing eyes had your 9-year-old self intimidated_.

_Suddenly, a loud angry cat noise came from behind you, scaring the cat away. You closed your eyes as there was yet another cat to deal with, but as you opened your eyes, you see Tooru's back facing you with his hands on his hips._

_"You could have scared it away normally, idiot." Iwaizumi said, standing beside you. "But he really did a good cat impression huh?" he now asks you with a smile, trying to cheer you up._

_"Y.yeah." You managed to choke out the words as you clear your throat, willing the tears to stop._

_"What if it was a dog?" Iwaizumi asks and Oikawa faces the both of you with a proud smirk_

_"I've actually practiced this one, in case y/n finds herself in this situation again," Oikawa says, clearing his throat with a fist over his lips before barking as loud and angry as he could. This had both you and Iwaizumi laughing, with the fear of the earlier scenario completely leaving you_.

_However, when it did get to the point where you faced a dog with Oikawa, he cried along with you as you held each other in your arms while calling out for Iwaizumi to rescue you._

"Let's go," you gathered up all the courage you could after remembering a childhood memory you had with your two best friends. _Everything's gonna be fine_ , you thought to yourself as you put your faith in Kuroo if that were to happen, he would do something about it anyway. Besides, you were the one who brought him here in the first place.

You thought you were feeling all brave but as soon as you stepped into the cafe, a cat approached you which had you hiding behind Kuroo. The soft purr that came from the cat surprised you when Kuroo bent down and picked the cat up.

"Isn't this just cute?" He held up the white cat he's been playing with across the glass pane towards you, making you back up a little but smiling at how happy he looked.

"I knew you liked cats but not this much." You commented, making Kuroo realize how excited he was being. He cleared his throat and tried to play it cool by looking for a place to sit. You followed closely behind, holding onto the hem of his jacket which he found utterly adorable.

"What would you like to order?" Kuroo asks as you both sat on a free table, eyeing the drink menu displayed by the counter. "Looks like they only have drinks"

"S.strawberry frappe." You answered, breath hitching at your throat as you felt a cat's tail brush your leg. Kuroo nods as he stood up, about to order when you quickly stood up and walked beside him. "I'll come with you"

This surprises Kuroo who was too overwhelmed to notice you slightly shaking from all the cats that have gathered to your table because of him. You were too distracted to notice the cat lying beside your chair, making you accidentally step on its tail. The cat hissed in pain as it quickly faced you with its back arched. The other cats were alarmed at the sudden shriek of their kind, having them all look at you-- the reason for it.

"Whoa there," Kuroo got in between you and the cat, crouching down to pet it in an attempt to soothe it. "It was an accident, little buddy," his soft voice comforted the cat, making it relax. He turned to give you a smile until he actually _sees_ you. He noticed the slight shaking of your hands as you cover your mouth, trying to choke in the sobs from the bubbled up fear within you.

"I'm sorry," you were able to say as Kuroo quickly stood up cup your face.

"Shit, you're cold. Were you that scared?!" He says, taking your hands in his as he gently rubs them together, attempting to give you warmth through the friction.

"I'm actually... scared of cats... or any other animal up close." your confession had Kuroo's eyes almost bulge out in surprise.

"Then why did you bring me here, idiot?!" He says, taking your hand as he leads you out of the cafe.

"I just... like how your face lights up whenever you see cats." You answered with a shaky sigh in the hopes that all the fear in your body has been blown away along with the deep breath. You weren't able to look at him from the embarrassment, but his lack of response was getting you anxious. Your eyes were stuck to your sneakers when you heard him heave a deep sigh as well before muttering a soft _wait here._

You looked up and watch him go back to the cafe and head directly to the counter. It wasn't much longer until he comes out with two drinks in hand and gives you the strawberry frappe in a cute cat-themed cup. You muttered a soft thanks, tentative of his reaction. He just gives you an assuring smile as a response.

"If I were to be honest, I'm more of a dog person than a cat.." He chuckles at your surprised face. "Cats just remind me of a good friend back in Tokyo," he says as he leans on the railing separating the road from the sidewalk facing the cat cafe. You mimicked his position, facing the cat cafe as you take a sip of your strawberry latte. "He was in the team when we had a practice match in Aoba Johsai. The quiet blonde setter."

"Kenma?" You tried to remember the name of the person he has described and his smile confirmed your guess.

"Yeah. I dragged him into volleyball in an attempt to get him off his video games but to no avail-- he's still attached to it after becoming a regular and our setter." he chuckles.

"You speak so fondly of him," you noted, smiling up to him.

"Yeah, I can't just leave that kid alone. Growing up as childhood friends, he's like a little brother I always take care of, you know?" he asks and you smile, nodding. He drinks from his cups before smiling at the cats across the glass pane, remembering how cute you were as you tried so hard for his sake. "Is there any place you want to go? Without considering me." He now adds as he looked at you.

"Uhm well, there's one place I want to look at." you smile as you sip from your drink once more.

***

You walked up to a small vintage looking shop. There were some tables set up outside which had Kuroo thinking it was another cafe, but as you opened the door he was engulfed with a pleasant surprise. The scent of books wafted as you enter and the old lady by the counter smiled up at you.

"Oh hello, my dear. I just got the delivery for the new volume of-- oh. You're here with a handsome young man. Your boyfriend?" She asks with a kind smile, making both your cheeks flush.

"Not _yet_ ," Kuroo answered for you, making the lady giggle and comment on how nice it was to be young before letting you be.

"I frequent this bookstore because of the cozy feeling it provides to its readers," you explained as you led him further into the building which now expands to a wide range of bookshelves and cushioned reading areas by the window. "You see, when the accident happened and I was forced to quit volleyball, I realize I had no life outside of it." Kuroo follows you as he listens to your story, feeling bad that he wasn't there for you when it happened. "It was kinda hard, adjusting and trying to have friends outside of the volleyball team, who apparently didn't like me for being too close to the boys' team." You let out a bitter chuckle before sucking in a breath. "So when I was taken out of the team, they didn't have any reason to be friendly with me anymore."

"How about your girl classmates?" He asks but you only gave him a smile.

"Either they're Oikawa's fangirls or they're scared of Oikawa's fangirls so... It's just really me and the boys. Probably why I'm not all that girly and all the things I tried today are so foreign." You say as you tightly clutch the strap of your small, black crossbody bag.

"Oikawa's made life hard for you huh," Kuroo didn't mean to say it out loud, but he wasn't happy with how hard it was for you because of that particular guy.

"No, I don't think that way." You say as you sat by your favorite spot, the window that oversees the park behind the small library. "In fact, I don't think I'd make it through without him. He may seem like an idiot who loves nothing but volleyball and himself, but he's a good friend." You now look up to Kuroo who watches you speak. "I think you know that too, considering how close you were back in middle school despite all those bickerings."

"It can't compare to your friendship since childhood. Your relationship is on a different level than ours." He mutters, looking away. _Do I even have a chance against it?_ Kuroo's worries start to take over his thoughts when you tug slightly on his jacket. 

"Relationship, huh?" You thought hard about the word, not really understanding its complexity. "I really don't have any idea of how relationships work. My only reference would be the mangas I read and stories I hear from the Iwa-chan and Tooru. So can I just ask you upfront what would it mean if I become your girlfriend?" Your eyes didn't waver as you ask Kuroo. Heat crept up his cheeks as he was caught off guard by your question. He clears his throat as he sat beside you yet he still had a hard time looking directly at you like how you're looking at him.

"I don't really get it too, and if ever you do say yes, you'd be my first girlfriend." He admitted, eyes fixated in a distance, not looking at you. "but it's not like I want you to be my girlfriend because you'd do things for me. I asked my older sister what it means if I couldn't stop thinking about a girl or getting pissed at the thought of you being with someone else and she said that it was love" He now finally looks at you who is much as a blushing mess as he is "and if I didn't want the last thing I mentioned happening, then I should just make you mine." 

_Mine_

That single word kept repeating in your head, making the heat on your face too much to bear that it made you tear up. You covered your face in the hopes to calm down the blood rushing through you when you felt your hand being taken away. You now found Kuroo looking at you. His deep gaze had you rooted in place, and if it wasn't for you sitting down, you would have fallen from your knees giving in. 

"Y/N," the low voice that he used to call your name had done things to your insides, feeling the intensity of his stare. "Will you be mine?" 

It felt as though the world has stopped what they're doing and turning all attention on you. You've known your answer after thinking through it all week. You weren't imagining all those feelings he gave you through the phone call, and all those times you've anticipated going home because you knew he'd be calling. Your thoughts were constantly filled up with him! But despite all this, you can't answer him straight because you're scared.

You're scared of the uncertainty. You're more than 200 miles away -- a 5-hour car ride or a 3-hour train ride. Long distance relationship rarely works in Mangas --- MANGAS. All your knowledge of relationships is just based on stories you've read. You don't know much about what you're getting into. What if he becomes disappointed and leaves? Will our years of friendship be thrown away along with the failed relationship? Will your ineptness cost his friendship with Iwaizumi and Oikawa?

These thoughts wreaked havoc in your mind, causing you to panic until your eyes met his. His eyes that had its full attention on you. His eyes that showed no doubts. His eyes that showed nothing but determination. His eyes that wordlessly conveyed the message you needed to hear: _It's gonna be alright._

"Yes," you finally answered breathing out, feeling his grip tighten on your hand. He lets out a shaky breath before having his forehead rest on your shoulder.

"Fuck, that was nerve-wracking even if it was my second time confessing." He chuckles, still hiding his face from your view but you feel the heat of his ears touching your neck. 

You chuckle at his reaction but are too aware of the loud pounding on your chest. Without lifting his head up, you felt his fingers slowly interlaced with yours and your worries suddenly felt so small. Looking down at it on your lap, you smiled as you thought to yourself, _I'm Kuroo's girlfriend now._


	5. Chapter 5

"I don't want to meet them," Oikawa sighed as he rests his forehead on his hand that lay on top of the table. He knows you've been on the phone with him every night the past week, and even if you were accompanying them in their practices after class, you were too busy waiting for your phone to light up and when it does, sudden flustered smiles show on your lips.

"I'll take it as the truth dawning on you now?" Iwaizumi asks with a teasing smirk, earning a scowl from his best friend. He just shook his head as he heaves a sigh "I thought you going out with those superficial girls could wake you up but no -- you had to wait before she's close to being taken away from you, idiot."

Oikawa couldn't refute because he knows what his best friend said was nothing but the truth. His shoulder only slumped more as he looked at the food he ordered. It wasn't even a full meal. It was just a small sandwich to get by, but even a small portion was too much for his lack of appetite at the moment. 

"Hey, are you gonna be like when we meet them later?" Iwaizumi asks, suddenly thinking of bailing him out for today. He doesn't seem like he's ready to face both of them with his feelings only being realized and acknowledged recently. 

"I can't. She'd worry," Oikawa sighs once more before taking a small bite off his sandwich. He forced it down his throat, trying to ignore the gnawing sensation at the pit of his stomach, like as if he's nervous about something, even without knowing what exactly it is that is making him nervous.

"If they do get together, do I have to leave Y/N's side?" Oikawa asks, remembering the times she had been considered a conflict by his past girlfriends. The only difference was, he chose you over them. Would you choose him too? Despite all those years you had together, he can't say he's confident. Not after seeing how happy you are whenever his name comes up, or how flustered you get whenever you talk on the phone with him for hours.

"You're really an idiot. You should know better than anyone that you'll always have a special place in y/n's heart." Iwaizumi assured him, urging him to finish the sandwich he called lunch.

.

.

"Yeah, we're by the entrance." Iwaizumi answered through Oikawa's phone.

"Why are you the one answering? Where's Bokekawa?" You asked as you walk towards the meetup place with Kuroo.

"Uh, toilet." Iwaizumi lagged, trying to think of an excuse for his best friend who asked for some time to 'mask' up. He wasn't sure Oikawa would pull it off, given how sullen he looked through lunch, but as soon as they heard your voice outside the phone, Oikawa heaved a deep sigh before giving off his signature smirk.

"Long time no see, rooster." Oikawa greets, giving a nod towards y/n's direction when he realizes she wore the outfit they bought together.

She wore it for him.

"It's only been two weeks. Missed me that much, flattykawa?" Kuroo rebutted and everyone laughed at the offended face Oikawa made.

"My ass never did anything to you." He answers, looking away as he entered the mall ahead with the rest following behind.

"You look different," Iwaizumi notices your change of style, but quickly changes it "like, good different."

"Thanks," you smiled up to him as you follow Oikawa who has been walking ahead of them. "Is Tooru okay?" You asked Iwaizumi, noticing the side glance Kuroo gave you.

"Yeah. He just got into an argument with his mom before leaving the house. You don't have to mind him much." Iwaizumi brushes it off, before calling out to Oikawa to walk alongside them. He really has been trying hard not to show his feelings for y/n's sake, and he applauds him for it. Despite having a dating history, y/n really has been the only person his best friend has actually loved.

"Kuroo-san!" All of you looked back to the sudden shout of Kuroo's name. You recognized the 4 guys who approach you were the first years of the Karasuno volleyball club, with the loud one giving Oikawa the title of 'the great king'.

"Osu" they greeted us which we acknowledged with a nod.

"What are you doing in Miyagi Kuroo-san? Is Kenma with you?" Hinata asked, excitedly looking around.

"No, chibi chan. It's just me visiting my friends" Kuroo smiles, ruffling the hair of the energetic freshman. "Have you been practicing your block, Tsukki?" Kuroo now looks at the tall freshman who he mentioned he had mentored as a blocker during their training camp.

"Yes, and please don't call me Tsukki." He answered with a calm voice, highlighting the contrast of the energy Hinata gives off.

"y/n senpai" Kageyama greets you, which surprised the other freshmen.

"Heyo Tobio kun!" You smiled up to him. He has grown since the last time you saw him in middle school.

"All of them are my seniors back in Kitagawa Daiichi Junior high. Y/N senpai was the libero of the girl's team." Kageyama explains as the rest of the freshman now looks at you. You give them an awkward smile, suddenly conscious of being the center of attention now.

"Why are you suddenly talking about y/n chan," Oikawa comes through, pinning Kageyama in a headlock as he pressed on his cheeks. "You like her?" Now the attention was on the two, and you smiled at how Oikawa could just help you out without even knowing it.

Or was he really clueless?

Kageyama's protests were muffled by Oikawa's fist pressing on his cheek and Iwaizumi tried to pry off Oikawa from the poor freshman when Kuroo decided to speak up.

"That can't do, Kageyama. This one's mine." Kuroo pulls you to his side, and now the attention was back to you, including Oikawa's and Iwaizumi's. Your face starts to flush as you didn't know where to look with Kuroo's arm over your shoulder.

"Ah-- you're not the great king's girlfriend?" Hinata asked and for a split second, you felt Kuroo's arm tense.

"No, she's _my_ girlfriend." Kuroo gives off a smile, although you know beneath it, he was hiding his irritation.

"Since when?" Oikawa asks with his surprise written all over his face.

"Just a few hours ago," you answered and you notice how Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa.

"Good." Oikawa breathes, holding onto his chest before flashing you a grin. "I thought you were hiding things from me. I would have been so betrayed y/n chan." He says which had you surprised too. This wasn't the reaction you were expecting from him. You expected him to be this whiny brother who starts play-threatening Kuroo but he just simply lets go of Kageyama and places his hands on his pockets.

"Congrats, man." Iwaizumi spoke, which was followed by the cheers of the freshman who teased Kuroo too.

As everyone flocked around you and Kuroo with all the congrats and the teasing between the boys, you noticed Oikawa rooted in place, staring at his phone with a solemn face. Unbeknownst to you, Oikawa was staring at nothing on his phone. He just wanted an excuse not to come close to you for the moment. He felt your gaze on him which made him look at you before giving you a pursed lipped smile.

"Mom's calling me home so I have to go ahead. You enjoy your first day as a couple first!" Oikawa waves before looking at Kuroo. "Take care of that brat, Tetsurou." It was rare for Oikawa to call Kuroo by his first name, but every time he does, it's because he's serious.

"I will, Tooru." Kuroo answers, matching his serious tone as he grabbed your hand on your side, making you smile.

Oikawa couldn't hold it in for much longer so he gave one last smile to your direction before turning his back towards you. As soon as he did, the tears he had been holding back freely fell on his cheeks as he walked towards the exit of the mall. He was sure not to wipe it until he was out of your line of vision.

His mind was blank and his chest was heavy as he walked back home, with Iwaizumi following behind in a distance, giving him the space he needs to process the reality that has been revealed to him today. He seemed so out of it that Iwaizumi had to make sure he'd get home without getting himself into an accident. As soon as he reached his home, Iwaizumi gave a sigh before heading towards his.

"You home already, Tooru?" His mother called out in the living room as she folded the laundry however, he was too spaced out to notice his mother's call and just went directly to his room. He didn't even open the lights as he sat on the floor with his back resting on his bed frame.

His shoulder weighed over him, arms limp on his sides as tears continue to stream down his face. Those nights he hadn't slept thinking of the day you become Kuroo's happened today, and despite all those times thinking about it, he really never got ready. Instead, flashbacks from your childhood flooded him.

_"Too chan! Too chan!" You cried as you clutch on your toy which your classmate was trying to pry off of you. the 5-year-old boy soon came to your rescue and blocked the other boy from picking on you. You grabbed the hem of his shirt as you hid behind him, sticking your tongue out to the one bullying you. As soon as the other boy left, Oikawa faced you and wiped your tears with his sleeve._

_"y/n chan don't cry. I stay beside you." He says, his sentences still breaking but it was enough to be understood._

_"Promise?" You held out your pinky in which Tooru firmly links with his._

_"Promise."_

_._

_._

_"Sucks to be you," you sat beside him on the swing in the neighborhood park where most of your childhood memories were spent. You heard he was dumped by a senpai he was going out with, but you never liked that girl either._

_"Shut it, shorty."  
"You're just a tall volleyball freak."  
"You're a volleyball freak yourself."   
_

_The banter led to a volleyball match which tired the both of you out, lying on the sandbox by the park._

_"I heard she left because of the senpai in the basketball team." he says, eyes staring at the vast night sky._

_"Oh cheer up. You're way cooler than that asshat anyway. Besides, you'll be too busy bickering with me to think about her." You laughed, pinching his nose._

_"Yeah, you're stuck with me again." Oikawa smiles, suddenly realizing that his sadness was not because he was dumped, but more of a feeling of losing a competition. He really didn't mind being dumped by the girl, for as long as he has you by his side._

_._

_._

_"Keep it a secret from Iwa-chan" you say, eyes barely staying open as you slightly slur your words. You were drunk and he was pissed, but it soon dissipated after you said the following line._

_"I like too chan the best!"_

It was at this moment that Oikawa's feelings were too overflowing to deny. If only he realized it sooner, maybe he could have beaten Kuroo to it. Maybe he wouldn't be left with much regret. Maybe he wouldn't have to fake a smile and act as the best friend while he watches you fall head over heels over another guy.

His throat felt dry after hours of crying. After letting out all the frustration and regret, he felt empty but hungry. Looking at the clock, it says 9PM. He walked out and saw his mother watching her favorite show by the living room while his father just came out of the toilet.

"You were home?" His father commented, grabbing the attention of his mom.

"Tooru--" His mother took a close look at his son and already knows he was going through something, but he also knew his son well. He never says anything, except to you. So instead of asking the obvious, she just went with the question she knows she'll get an answer to. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, sorry I skipped. Are there some leftovers?" His voice was coarse which had him clearing his throat midsentence.

"I'm sorry, your father ate up everything. Let me cook for you." She stood up but Oikawa waves it off.

"It's fine. I'll just get some onigiri in the convenience store." He says, going back to his room to get some money and his phone before heading out. As he slipped on his shoes, he noticed a few messages left by you and Iwaizumi. He didn't want to look at it first, so he chucked his phone in his pocket as he made his way out -- only to see you and Kuroo standing in front of your house.

You were in your own little bubble with Kuroo to notice his presence as you talk softly while he held your hand in his, gazing at you with a soft smile. Before leaving, Kuroo gave you one last glance before leaving a soft kiss on your forehead.

_You should know better than anyone that you'll always have a special place in y/n's heart._

"Just not the place I wish I'd be, but I'll make do with that, Iwa-chan," Oikawa mutters to himself as he turns his back towards you, leaving you in a blushing mess in front of your home.

***

One month has passed and it has gotten busy for the volleyball players with their training intensifying as the inter-high tournament approaches. May it be in Miyagi or in Tokyo, everyone's been training hard to earn their spot at the nationals. Despite all that, Kuroo never failed to make time for you even when he'd fall asleep mid-conversation from the exhaustion of his training. Sure you guys haven't met for a while but you understood why. After all, you were a player too, not too long ago.

However, it wasn't only Kuroo who's been pushing himself to the limits. Oikawa has been going home late from his self practices and would often doze off. in the middle of the class, earning him some extra work he has to finish if he wants to compete with his team.

"You can go ahead today too," Oikawa says to you as the team dissipates to the locker room to change. He, on the other hand, gathered balls into a cart to practice the accuracy of his spike serves.

"No. Let's go home together." You say, standing your ground as you sat on the floor at the side of the gym. "You have one hour to finish your self-practice." You say, pointing at the clock which says 5PM.

"Come on, won't Kuroo be calling in a few?" He says, having the ball near his face as he exhales before throwing it up high and approaching it with his perfect form. The force he puts in on his shoulders makes you wince even before his hand hits the ball. "Damn it." Oikawa grunts as the ball lands outside the line.

"One hour." You ignored his remarks about Kuroo, standing firm to your time limit, because if you don't, he just might collapse. "Also, if you jumped a bit farther from the line, maybe it could have been in."

"Just go home with Iwa-chan today. Might not finish up in an hour." He says, his eyes not meeting yours as he speaks. His concentration has been focused on the ball and on the line he tries to hit.

"Iwa already left. His mom is sick, remember?" You say, pulling up your legs to your chest. You know he's not paying attention and so you just set a timer from your phone to remind you when it's time to go home.

Attempt over attempt, his strength from his hits and jumps have been impressive but his bad knee has been giving out. You tried to call his attention but to no avail, he was too immersed in perfecting his serve. As you were about to stand up and forcibly stop him, he hit his mark with the bottle flying to the second floor. He lets out a sigh of relief, smiling at his achievement before falling to the ground.

"Tooru!" You quickly ran to his side, picking him up when you felt him burning up. It was past six and the school infirmary has already closed. "Damn it, Tooru!" You gently placed him back down before you ran to grab your phone, dialing Iwaizumi.

.

.

"This idiot never listened to me." Iwaizumi grunted as he plops Oikawa to his bed. The house was empty when you arrived. His mom has left a note saying that they had an anniversary date and would be back after dinner, and so you didn't have a choice but to keep an eye on him until they get home.

"He can be stubborn when it comes to volleyball." You say, resting your hand on your hip as you shake your head. "Thanks, Iwa chan, I can manage from here. You can go back to your mom." You gave him a smile.

"Alright. I'll leave this here." He answers, placing a plastic bag of cold medicines and replenishment on Oikawa's table. You see him out before going back to Tooru's bedroom to get his temperature. 38.1 degrees Celcius. You place a fever patch on his forehead before heading to the kitchen to prepare him a simple porridge. As you finish, you managed to let the half-conscious Oikawa eat before feeding him the medicine and letting him get back to sleep.

"You're already a great player, being able to conduct the team to its best potential as a setter, Tooru. You should learn how to cherish yourself a bit more." You say as you pull the blanket up to his shoulder after noticing him slightly shaking. You sigh as you sat on the floor beside his bed.

"Y/N," Oikawa weakly mutters, his face contorted with his brows knit together while his hands reached out of the blanket. "Don't leave me"

"I'm here." You grabbed his hand, his warmth slightly burning you. His grip tightened for a moment before it relaxed as he fell into a deeper slumber. You smiled, remembering those days in your childhood when he'd call for you instead of his mom, and when he'd wake up beside his sister, he'd cry looking for you.

 _Nothing has changed for 16 years_ , you thought as you chuckle, letting him hold your hand while you rest your head on your arm by the bed.

.

.

"Dear?" You didn't notice you fell asleep when Oikawa's mother woke you up. She has given you a warm smile as she sees Oikawa sleeping soundly with a fever patch on and a mess of medicines and unwashed dishes on his table. "Thank you for taking care of Tooru. I can take it from here," her gentle voice soothed you as you rubbed your eyes, trying to wake the rest of your body up.

You looked at the clock to see it was already 9:00PM. You grunted as you stretched, having Oikawa's mother chuckle at you when she suddenly remembered something.

"Ah, right. There was a young man in front of your home although I don't recognize his tracksuit..." his mother thinks for a moment, leaving the mess on the table she's been cleaning up when she remembered the school's name printed on the side of his pants. "Ah! I think it said Nekoma high, but I don't recall a Nekoma high school in Miyagi.."

You gasped as you suddenly sprinted outside, gathering your belongings in a hurry. You almost stumble as you hurriedly wore your shoes seeing Kuroo's back as you exit Oikawa's house.

"Kuroo!" You called out as you exit their front lawn, resting your hands on your knees as you catch your breath. "What are you doing here?" You asked as you look up to him excitedly smiling-- but he wasn't.

He looked at you, uniform a mess, things gathered messily and exiting from Oikawa's house.

"I thought something happened when you wouldn't pick up my calls. Even used my allowance to get a bullet train but it seems that was all for nothing." His tone was sharp, his fist on his side as he tries to keep his anger at bay.

You must have a reason for this, and he knows he should trust you but his insecurities were starting to ruin his temper management.

"Calls..?" You asked him before suddenly rummaging through your stuff to look for your phone. That's when you see Kuroo's worried messages and 17 missed calls since their training ended. "Oh no. I'm sorry, I didn't notice."

"How would you when you're too busy with Oikawa." He grunted, his face didn't hide how angry he was.

"I'm sorry for missing your calls and making you worried but what's with that remark. What are you trying to say?" You took a step closer to him, wanting his eyes to meet yours but he won't comply. He didn't want to look at you.

"Whatever. Sorry for disturbing your fun with Oikawa. I'm gonna catch the last bus home." Kuroo says. turning his back on you. Clearly, he had no intention to listen to you but you didn't want to part this way.

"Kuroo, wait--" You reached out to grab his arm but he recoiled at your touch. His face didn't hide his anger as he looked at your eyes for the first time tonight. You tried to keep the tears at bay but the pain radiated through your body, feeling needles poking at your extremities down to your core but still, you tried to push through it, not wanting to let him go like this. "Can you please listen to what I have to say first?"

"I'm gonna miss the last bus." He looked away, ignoring the breaking of your voice. He was too immersed in his own thoughts and pain that he didn't get to accommodate yours. "Just go inside. We'll talk tomorrow."

He continued to walk away without sparing a glance back at you. As you watch his back, you let out the tears you've been trying to hold. You covered your trembling lips but decided to walk him to the bus station at a distance, giving him the space that he wants.

People must have stared at you as you walk in tears, following a clueless Kuroo who was drowning in his own thoughts. You wiped your tears as he entered the bus leaving for Tokyo. As he sat by the window, he caught a glimpse of you wiping your tears which surprised him.

"What are you doing here, idiot?!" Kuroo stands up from his seat, about to go down and walk you home when he noticed Oikawa a few light posts behind watching you. He had a fever patch on his forehead as he kept his hands in his pockets, silently watching you. Kuroo somehow made sense of what happened, seeing Oikawa's pained look as he watches you cry. _Guilt_ , is what it looked like but as he sees his feint reflection on the glass, he realized he was mirroring Oikawa's expression.

"I'm sorry, Y/N" he mutters, sinking back down to his seat as the bus started moving.

You sighed as you turn your back towards the leaving bus, letting out a shaky breath before you walk back to your home when you noticed a tall back faced towards you, wearing an inside out hoodie you always steal.

"Tooru?" You called out and his shoulder tensed before awkwardly facing you.

"Hi." He says, a forced smile on his lips as he scratched the back of his head.

"What are you doing out?! Is your temperature down now?" You asked, peeling of the fever patch as you place the back of your hand on his neck.

"I-- uh. Saw what happened with Kuroo." He admitted, burying his hands deeper into his pocket. "I'm sorry if I caused your argument--" he tried to apologize but you quickly brushed it off, shaking your head.

"I was my fault, not yours. I wasn't able to answer his calls or leave a message which had him worried. That's all." You say, sighing as you look up to him. "I just gotta make it up to him," you shrugged when Oikawa looked at your tear-stained cheeks, wiping off what was left on his sleeve.

"I'm still sorry," he says, his voice sincere which made you smile.

"Well then, buy me some ice cream and wear your hoodie properly." You answered with a chuckle and he happily obliged, buying you your favorite strawberry popsicle on the way home.

.

.

As you close the door of your bedroom, you've checked your phone to see if Kuroo had responded to your messages. To your dismay, it has been left unread so you reached out to Kenma with whom you've gotten close to the past month.

_Kenma, sorry to disturb you late at night but can I ask a favor from you? Can you let me know when Kuroo comes home? -Y/N_

_So that's where he went. He looked restless when he left a while ago, but yeah sure. I'll let you know. - Kenma_

_Also... one last favor. - Y/N_

_What is it? - Kenma_

_Can you help me apologize to him? I need intel and a partner in crime to pull it off. - Y/N_


	6. Chapter 6

_Beep beep beep_

Your alarm sounds off, signaling yet another day to get through. You've checked your phone in the hopes that Kuroo has already replied but to your dismay, your inbox has no new messages. You let out a sigh before sending another text, hoping that today would be the day he responds.

_Good morning, Kuroo. Don't skip your breakfast so you can have the energy for your morning practice okay? I hope we can talk soon._

You sighed as you charged your phone before taking your towel to take a bath when you suddenly heard your message notification. You rushed to get to your phone, only to see Oikawa's name across your screen.

_You skipping morning practice today too? I'm outside._

You smile despite the heaviness on your chest. In the past two days, he has been trying to cheer you up because he feels responsible for your current situation with Kuroo, and you've been trying to smile as much as you can around him to avoid making him feel bad but it gets tiring.

_I just woke up, I'm sorry. I'll see you in homeroom?_

You replied, going over to your window to take a peek at your best friend looking at his phone. His face was somber, and you hated how he blamed himself when he didn't even asked you to take care of him that day. It was your fault, not his.

_Smile, idiot. You'll make your fangirls, who'll "accidentally" bump into you later, sad._

You messaged him once more, with Oikawa receiving it just before he left. He read the message and looked up in the direction of your window, giving you a playful scowl with his tongue out like a kid before smiling as he gives you a small wave. You wave back with a soft smile but as soon as he faces his back towards you, you look at your phone once more, going through the thread of your unreplied messages to your boyfriend.

_Has he replied to you yet?_

You were surprised by the sudden notification that you received from Kenma.

_No, not yet. Has he spoken to you about it?_

You replied, getting your towel and getting ready for a bath.

_No. Not yet. I think he's been reflecting. He doesn't look mad. Why don't you try to call him during lunch?_

You bit your lip, holding onto Kenma's words that maybe he really wasn't mad but he's just preoccupied with his own thoughts. Maybe it'll work out if you be a little more aggressive in reaching out.

_I think I will. Thanks a bunch, Kenma!_

You chuckled at the cat emoji Kenma sent that shows a thumbs up, followed by a cat waving a "Good luck" banner. You then started to prepare for school.

.

.

"Why'd you miss morning practice?" Matsukawa came up to you by the shoe lockers, followed by Hanamaki who just waved at you as he gets his indoor shoes.

"Wasn't able to get up early." You shrugged with a small smile, putting on the last shoes as you walk to your classroom with the two boys. "So, how was practice?"

"It was funny," Hanamaki started, and even before he could give details, Matsukawa started laughing. "Kentaro--"

"Mad dog?" You interrupted with a question that was answered with a nod by Hanamaki before he continued with his story.

"He wouldn't listen to Oikawa, as usual, and only continued to challenge Iwaizumi from service to spiking but before the practice ended, he hit the vice principal who visited the gym in the face--" the two boys started bursting in laughter as you entered the room together, with you joining as you imagined the face of the oh-so serious vice principal.

"But that's not the end of it," Matsukawa says as they stay over your desk while you put down your bag, still listening to their story. "Oikawa was the one reprimanded because he couldn't handle his member as the team captain-- and his face was turning red as he tried not to get mad in front of the vice principal."

The three of you started laughing loudly when the classroom door opened and there came in Oikawa and Iwaizumi who was in the middle of an argument.

"I didn't know it'd hit the old guy!"  
"You shouldn't have accepted the challenge! The training was affected too! You're too childish sometimes, Iwa-chan."  
"Oh, I don't want to hear about lectures on childishness from you."  
"What did you say?"  
"Exactly that."

"Hey guys, let's call it truce okay? Homeroom's about to start" Hanamaki intervenes while Matsukawa stays beside you.

"These idiots get riled up easily." He comments and you laugh, agreeing.

"Ehh. They cool down quite easily too," you say before catching Oikawa's eyes and copying his signature tongue-out teasing face. He gives a small chuckle, shaking his head before he places down his bag on his desk which was on the left side of the classmate sitting in front of you.

"Morning, sleepyhead." He greets you as Iwaizumi takes his seat which on your right side. You greeted back before poking Iwaizumi's cheek and commenting on how his scowl will only give him unwanted wrinkles. This made him give you a soft smile.

"It really is helpful to have y/n when our testosterone levels get the best of us" Matsukawa comments after seeing Iwaizumi smile and Hanamaki agreed before they went to their designated seats at the back as your adviser entered the room and started homeroom.

.

.

"What are you having for lunch?" Oikawa walks up to you, getting distracted by the milk bread Iwaizumi brings out from his bag. "Iwa--"

"It's for you." Iwaizumi throws the bread to Oikawa before he could even open his mouth while muttering a small apology over this morning's incident.

"Apology accepted!!!" Oikawa runs to hug Iwaizumi who only pushes his face away from his. You chuckled seeing your best friends make up before you felt your phone vibrate.

_Is it lunchtime for Seijo now? We're on lunch break. You can try to call but classes resume by 1pm._

Your smile died down as you heave a deep sigh after reading Kenma's message. You look up to your childhood best friends who were staring at you, waiting to go to the cafeteria together.

"I'll catch up to you later. Save me a seat, okay?" You say, giving them both a smile.

"Why can't we just go together?" Oikawa asks and you quickly thought of a possible reason. You reached for your hygiene kit in your bag and showed it to them. The two quickly understood and would not want to get on your bad side when you have your monthly visitor. 

Before Matsukawa and Hanamaki ask you to join them, they quickly got the guys and left you while promising to save you a seat. You laughed at their speedy reaction before bringing the kit back into your bag. You didn't have your period today. You just needed some time alone.

As you waited for the classroom to be empty, you tried to gather up all the courage you could before making the call.

_Should you start with an apology? Ask if he's eaten lunch? Ask if he's mad? Will he even pick up?_

Sudden worry clouds your thoughts. Your chest tightens as you worry-- but thinking back, it was reasonable why he got mad in the first place. You made him worry and then you'd come out of your childhood friend's place. Of course, he'd think you were too busy having fun with Oikawa to text him but if only he made you explain yourself, maybe this wouldn't have dragged on this long.

You heard the door close shut with the soft chatters dying and realized that finally, you were alone in the room. Your heart pounded on your chest as you clicked Kuroo's name before the screen displayed an ongoing call.

_Ring ring ring_

Your heart grew wary at every unanswered ring until it stopped-- and so did your heart.

"Hello?"

Finally, Kuroo's voice that you've been wanting to hear for so long picked up.

"H.hey," you say, the overwhelming emotions of worry, happiness, longing, and excitement choked up your words. "H.how have you been? Have you eaten your lunch yet?"

"Not yet, I'm actually headed to the canteen right now." His voice was low, and just as Kenma said, he didn't seem mad. However, he didn't seem happy that you called either.

"Oh. Uhm. I was just.. wondering if we could talk?" You say, your free hand fiddling with the hem of your skirt.

"Not right now. I have to eat lunch and finish an assignment for the next period. Sorry," his response resulted in a similar chest pain you've felt the night when your argument started.

"Oh," you didn't have anything else to say as you try not to cry. "I'm sorry," you were able to say just above a whisper. Maybe you were being paranoid, but you heard a soft grunt and a long sigh before you heard Kuroo speak again.

"Don't skip your lunch, okay?" he says, his tone softening up. You only got to hum a response before he said he had to go.

Your chest tightens more as soon as the line gets cut. You placed your phone on your desk as you wipe the tears pooling on your eyes, heaving a shaky sigh as your lips trembled.

"What do I have to do damn it," you stood up, frustrated. You crumpled the ribbon on your chest, hoping it'd lessen the pain somehow but it didn't. You wiped your tears once more before turning to leave the room when you find Oikawa standing by the classroom door, his face clouded with worry as he watches you.

"I'm okay." You quickly smiled in his direction, but this time he didn't try to smile back. Instead, he walked up to you, looking at your phone which displayed the phone log with Kuroo's name at the top.

"Is he still not talking to you?" You were surprised to see Oikawa with a pissed expression. This face wasn't even close to the face he had when he was arguing with Iwa chan awhile ago. This face is when he's seriously angry. "He's being so unreasonable right now." he scowls, reaching out to your phone when you stopped his hand.

"Don't be so mad," you say, reaching up to smooth the knot forming on his brows while giving light squeezes to his hand. His facial feature relaxes at your gesture and you smile up to him. "We don't know what's going on his side but maybe he's having a hard time too. I'm sure he'll come around." You heard him sigh but didn't pry anymore. He respected your decision for your relationship and you're thankful for that.

\- In Nekoma High -

"Oh, it's Kuroo senpai!" Lev calls out, seeing their captain by the hallway leading to the canteen. Kenma, who bumped into the loud freshman, shifted his attention from his phone to his best friend who looked glum as he stared out the window. Kuroo seemed like he was in deep thought as his shoulder rose up and slumped back down before he frustratedly ran his fingers through his hair.

"Go save us a seat, I'll talk to him first." Kenma grabbed the shirt of Lev who was about to march into Kuroo, oblivious to their captain's current state. Lev complained, however, still followed his senpai's instruction as he searched for a free table.

"Hey," Kenma walked up to Kuroo, catching his attention.

"Kenma" Kuroo says with a sigh, resting his back on the wall as he faced the floor.

"What's wrong?" Kenma tries to ask, remembering how his information of the situation only came from Y/N. Kuroo hasn't said anything about this to him, or to anyone yet so he's not supposed to have an idea of their argument.

"I'm being lame. I keep running away." Kuroo answers, his grip tightening on his phone. "I'm actually kinda scared."

"About what?" Kenma probes once more, wanting to hear his side of the story. He hasn't been acting his normal self either, even in volleyball which is the only thing that he could run to when he wants to have a peace of mind.

"Kenma saan! Captain!! Kai senpai and Yaku senpai are looking for you!" Lev shouts from the cafeteria entrance, making Kenma scowl at him. Kuroo lets out a small chuckle as he softly shook his head.

"Yeah, we're coming." Kuroo starts to walk towards the cafeteria with his shoulders slightly crouched. His confident stride was nowhere to be found and it worried Kenma. "Come on, Kenma. We still have to talk about the upcoming training camp." Kuroo gives Kenma a small smile, motioning his head towards the cafeteria.

.

.

"I seriously am getting tired trying to adjust to Lev. There is no consistency at all with his spikes!" Kenma grunted, hands crumpling his fists in frustration while Kuroo just chuckles beside him, his hands in his pockets as they walk home together after their practice.

"Give it more time. We're working on his fundamentals but you gotta admit he has great proportion and instinct." Kuroo comments, making Kenma mumble. He couldn't bring himself to admit that his bestfriend has a point.

"Oh- Kuroo. Do you have plans for the weekend?" Kenma suddenly asks, making Kuroo raise a brow.

"We have the joint-training," Kuroo answers matter-of-a-factly. "Don't tell me you forgot?" Kuroo chuckles, giving Kenma a loving headlock which the blonde tried to escape.

"No! I meant after." He says, giving up his struggle given the difference in strength.

"Oh, well none at the moment," Kuroo says, releasing his best friend as they arrive in front of Kenma's house.

"Great. Keep it free," he says before opening the gate, leaving Kuroo with no explanation whatsoever.

Kuroo scratches the back of his head in confusion before walking to his own house which was just two houses past Kenma's. 

"I'm home" Kuroo says as he enters his house. His grandfather answers him from the backyard, working on his small garden. He walks towards him, sitting behind him as he leans his chin onto his grandfather's shoulder.

"You're not a little kid anymore, brat. You're heavy" his grandfather chuckles, ruffling his hair but does not make any movements to shove him off. Kuroo sighs as he drops and just gives his grandfather a hug from behind, resting his forehead on his old man's back. 

"Even if I ask what's wrong, you won't say anything, will you?" His grandfather asks as he continues tending to his plants, letting his grandson hug him. When Kuroo stays silent, his grandfather only heaved out a sigh before asking him to run an errand for their dinner in the hopes that a walk could make his grandson's thoughts clear up.

Kuroo complies, leaving his bag by the entrance and only grabbing his phone and wallet before walking to the nearest convenience store. He remembers the conversation you had awhile ago, and his chest tightens as he remembers how your voice dropped when he ran away again. 

He was too scared to admit it, but even back in middle school, he knew Oikawa's feelings for you. He knew how much he took care of you and he knew he would be a much better option for you, given that he's always by your side while he's a 5-hour bus trip away, 3 if you take a bullet train. Just when he thought he'd get dumped by you the minute he confesses, he saw how you blushed and hoped that maybe, he still had a chance. He was ecstatic when you accepted his confession a week later, but deep inside his insecurity never vanished -- not even when he was already y/n's boyfriend. This was why coming out of Oikawa's house took such a huge blow on Kuroo that he wasn't able to hear out y/n, and even before he left Miyagi, his regret has swallowed him whole.

So what if Y/N's already tired? What if she already wants to break up after learning how shitty he can be and how Oikawa's always there to clean up after him and take care of the mess he made?

"Why so glum?" A sudden voice snapped him out of his trance, revealing his member's sister which was peaking on his face by his side.

"Alisa-san" Kuroo almost jumped from suddenly being aware of the presence beside him. He held onto his chest, trying to stabilize his erratic heartbeat.

"I've called out to you a couple of times though," she says defensively before chuckling. Kuroo relaxes before flashing out his captain smile -- the smile he shows whenever he meets other teams or coaches from other schools. "You don't have to be such a stranger, my younger brother talks a lot about you so I already feel like we're close." she laughs, muttering how she has a lot of high school friends despite being a university freshman, thanks to his brother's club. 

Kuroo looks at the lady in front of him, making him chuckle in bewilderment at the logic she has. "Well, why have you been calling, Alisa-san?"

"We can talk about that later, seems like something's bothering you? It looked pretty serious," she says, pointing towards the bench beside the nearby vending machine. "You can vent out to this nee-san/stranger though, after all, you need not worry about seeing me around your school every day after sharing your load there," she says, gently tapping Kuroo's chest. "Wouldn't it be easier that way?" 

Kuroo contemplated on it. It has been hard taking all these burdensome feelings by himself because he had this captain-image he needs to upkeep. He has kohai's looking up to him and people relying on him -- he didn't want to feel any more pathetic than he already feels. Maybe it was okay for Alisa to hear, after all, she has a point. I won't be seeing her every day and it's not like he has a certain image to uphold with her. 

In the end, Kuroo ended up telling her his insecurities and the current situation with you, and he felt liberated. He didn't notice, but he ended up crying in the middle of his talking. 

"Hmm," Alisa says as she gets a handkerchief from her bag and handing it over to him. "Captain-san, now that you've let it out, I hope the emotions can now be separated while we look at some facts, yeah?" she says calmly as she looked directly at Kuroo's eyes.

"Did y/n san ever say something about having feelings for this Oikawa-san?" she asks first, with Kuroo shaking his head. "Did y/n ever showed signs of having feelings with Oikawa or being preoccupied about him while she's with you?" Kuroo thinks again and goes back to the few dates you've shared for a month and a half of dating. 

Although there were times Oikawa's name would be mentioned, it would always be a story about volleyball or stuff she'd want to buy for him and Iwaizumi. There was no trace of romance or the sort on Y/N's side, and he only realized it now. It's true when they say your greatest enemy is yourself. When you're drowning in your own thoughts and worries, you tend to focus only on the bad things.

"Kuroo san?" Alisa tries to get back Kuroo who was lost in his thoughts. Once he shakes his head, Alisa sighs before placing both her hands on his shoulders. "Look here, Kuroo-san. Don't you think it's unfair to hold your girlfriend's childhood friendship against her? They grew up together, and there's nothing we can do about how close they are." She says, tilting her head as she tries to get Kuroo's eyes which were fixated on the ground. "Have some confidence, captain-san! Any girl would be lucky to have someone who'd think of them as much as you'd think of y/n san." 

Alisa's smile made Kuroo's heart throbbed, his tears unwillfully spilling. He covers his face, trying to compose himself as he found it embarrassing to be breaking down in front of someone whom he just talked to for the first time, not to mention, is the older sister of his kohai. 

"Thanks, Alisa-san." he managed to say as he wipes his tears and snot with his jacket sleeve.

"Sure thing! So uhm.. captain-san" the cheerful and outgoing onee-san suddenly became meek and shy. "Not that I listened to you with an ulterior motive..." she shyly rubs her nape as she flashes an awkward smile. "I mean, I didn't know you were having a problem! It just so happened... that... you had a problem... and I needed a favor... BUT I was going to ask you a favor even if you didn't have any problem that I would be listening to!" she says defensively, desperately trying to justify her actions which Kuroo found cute. He gives her a teasing smirk, shaking his head as if to feign disappointment, but he couldn't keep his act together. He laughed before hearing Alisa out.

It turned out she just wanted his brother occupied until evening on Saturday, the day of their training with Fukurodani. He was about to ask what for but didn't feel like he was in any place to question. After all, she did help with his problem just awhile ago. 

"You're a lifesaver! Thank you, captain san! I'll be on my way then!" She stands up, smiling as she waves before leaving Kuroo on the bench right beside the vending machine.

Kuroo takes his phone from his pocket, rereading the message thread he has with Y/N. He felt pinching sensations on his chest and stomach, suddenly remembering the conversation he had with you during their lunch break. 

_Do I even have the right to talk to her right now? What if she doesn't answer? What if she's mad now? What if---_

The questions looming over his head came to a halt when he realizes it must have been what Y/N has been feeling for the past two days. 

"Fuck pride." Kuroo muttered, pressing Y/N's name before pressing his phone to his ears. "Please... please answer. I'm really sorry, please answer." Kuroo mutters to himself, his free hand holding his hair in anxiety.

Every second the ringing continues is another second Kuroo's breath gets hitched on his throat.

"Hello?" Y/N's voice sounded hoarse before her sniffles were barely heard.

_She's been crying.  
_

_And Kuroo hated himself for it._

"Y/N... I'm sorry. Are you free to talk?" 


End file.
